Anyone have any relationship advice for a christian / agnostic couple?

I am agnostic, and she is Roman Catholic. We are perfect for each other in every way except for this one not-so-little detail. We think we would be able to tolerate this difference, except when it comes to raising kids. Any thoughts?Anyone have any relationship advice for a christian / agnostic couple?
Marriage between people of mixed beliefs can work out just fine, provided you both observe some ground rules. :)





First, no making fun of or belittling each others beliefs, especially in front of the children if you have them. (Shouldn't they grow up being respectful of other people anyways?)





Second, no trying to convert the other person or make them adhere to your religious rules; since she's the religious one, this would apply more to her. For a random example, you shouldn't have to give up meat on Fridays for Lent just because she does, and she shouldn't expect you to. People shouldn't go into relationships expecting to change people, especially trying to change something as major as a person's belief system.





So far as the kids go, the ideal is a compromise. Each of you should feel free to share your beliefs with your kids without fear of ridicule or the other parent saying something like ';Well no that's wrong because Daddy doesn't follow the 'correct' religion.'; I personally think it's best to allow children to choose whether or not they will follow a religion when they're old enough to understand the implications of what they're agreeing to. I've seen many children scared or bullied into religion, and it really can be psychologically damaging.





With enough mutual respect, things can work out beautifully. I'm a Pagan married to an atheist for over 5 years now. :) Best of luck to you!Anyone have any relationship advice for a christian / agnostic couple?
PERFECT for each other? I'm not sure about that. ';Not so little detail'; is quite the understatement. After the honeymoon is long over and kids come, you will be dealing with her parents and grandparents in terms of their desire to have your kids Baptized and raised as Catholics. It is a solemn promise SHE must make in order to be married Catholic. A ';small detail'; that can both ruin a marriage if you can't accept her beliefs or alienate the both of you from her family.





Whatever you do please don't lie to her and say it's all ok and then down the road tell her you want no part of her bringing the kids up in the Catholic Church. You asked for advice, right?





I won't try to tell a person of another faith (or no Faith) what THEY are supposed to believe. It's their business. But if you marry a Catholic be prepared to accept or at very least tolerate her beliefs. If she agrees to the marriage and decides to have it done in a Catholic ceremony then she is accepting YOUR being Agnostic. But in doing so she needs to promise her Church that she will do everything possible to raise any children from this marriage in the Catholic Faith. If that alientates your conscience, bothers you or you can't live with that then I would suggest you re-think marrying her.





No one can or will make you obey teachings of a religion you do not accept. But rejecting her right and responsibility once you marry will certainly lead to problems. Best of luck.





PS, I forgot. Sarcasm time:





Don't let her take the kids to HER church. Wait till they are old enough to decide for themselves, say 15 or 16. And while you're at it, don't let her take the kids to any doctors or dentists or schools.....till they are old enough to decide for themselves.





Makes perfect sense, right? I would hope you see through the imbecilic ';advice'; that tells you to ';wait till the kids are old enough.'; If you applied that same ';logic'; to the rest of life they will have no teeth, be in terrible health , be illiterate and have no sense of anything holy. Do kids WANT to go to school? Doctors? Dentists? Church? OF COURSE NOT. We parents have to do what is right FOR THEM. They are not CAPABLE at that age. We introduce them to the things WE FEEL and WE BELIEVE are necessary for a good, balanced and proper life. Waiting till a kid is 16 and suddenly telling them it's time for school, a medical appointment or church would make no sense at all. We start them off by making ALL these things part of the fabric of their lives.
Be honest with the kids and let them make their own informed decisions about religion. When they're young, it will be difficult to introduce them to such complex concepts as uncertainty and the fact that mommy and daddy don't agree about everything, but I think that they will be more intelligent and mature people for having an early understanding that there are some answers that no one can give them with 100% certainty.
REad this:


Mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles those who repent in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.





Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your faith unto repentance, that ye begin to call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you;





Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.





Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.





-Amulek
Have you ever asked her why she believes in God?





Have you ever asked yourself why you don't?





I can't give any good advice here, namely because I don't have kids. All I can say is do not let it tear you apart. Keep on living and loving. Try watching that movie, Fireproof, together with no distractions, with no bias going into it. Attend one of her church services. Weigh the evidence for God with the evidence against without being biased.





But do not let this fact tear you apart, no matter whether you or she budges.
That is a good question to ask, but I think you already know the answer to that. Ask yourself this, will you be comfortable with your kids being taught certain aspects of Roman Catholicism and 1.believing that you are a sinner or 2. will your wife be comfortable enough to have her children say I don't want to do that, I want to do what daddy does. And what about the grandparents and aunts and uncles, will this cause a strain?
Both of you need to give up any plans of converting the other, agree to disagree on matters of religion and you'll be good to go as a couple. As you rightly point out, how to raise the kids is a separate matter but one which should be worked out before deciding to have any. Good luck and best wishes.
I have a friend in the same situation. They have been married for almost 40 years. I think, for what she has told me, that he goes to Mass with her even though he isn't into the whole idea of religion. They raised their two children in the church, but neither attend now that they are adults. He may be a believer in god but not in established religions. I dated a guy in college who was very religious. I am not sure how long I could have just gone along with it. I probably could have gone to church once a week, but I could not have been an active member. You two better really think this though.





My husband and I are both agnostics did not raise our children in religion, but did allow them to go with friends. They are both adults and agnostic as are their husbands.
Why the problem with kids?


They will be entitled to all the information they can get on all aspects of live to enable them to


make up their own minds at a later date.


Don't deny them access to any part of religion, but let them see that you have doubts.
do not do it ,it will cause strife all your life.Unless you believe the same it will only lead to sadness.Also your children will be so confused and not know which way to go
Just let her raise the kids Catholic. It's simple. When they get old enough, they can make the decision for themselves if they want to continue being religious or not.
Religious people are brainwashed into believing what their Church brand has to offer... it is all a matter of compromise if ';true love'; ever flourish... Kids will be a problem only for ';what people who knows me will think';...
Yeah that's quite true religious differences ultimately take the toll and you must decide it now or never would be a bit too late.
Your children should have the freedom to decide for themselves which path to follow. No indoctrination whatsoever.
Do not let her get to the kids at an early age!


Let them decide for themselves what they want to do when they are old enough.
raise them with religion if they come to your conclusions fine if they want to stay religious let them.
convert, biach. or scram. too easy
Keep your mouth shut, let her talk! But never listen to her! Don't let her drive too!





You are good to go now!
Raise your kids telling them BOTH of your beliefs. I don't see why you can't do that.
Just don't talk about religion
All your answers will be found on www.jahtruth.net





Google 7/7 Ripple effect
Work it out before the ';I do';.