Love God more than you fear the Devil. Too many people spend more time thinking about Satan than about Jesus.
Actually, Jesus said it best, I think: ';This is the Law and the prophets: that you should treat others as you would have them treat you, and love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.'; And ';Don't judge others, that you not be judged yourself.';
If you actually read the words of Jesus (rather than the teachings of some of his followers) every day, and follow His advice the best you can, you'll do fine.
And don't worry that you're not perfect about it. You're not expected to be perfect about it. Just be sincere, love God, and keep working on it.I need advice on how i can be a better christian?
Pray,.... ask Jesus for help, put your life in His hands, study the Bible and see what it is that God would want you to be. Be humble and learn. Change things as you learn...it won't happen all at once...it's a lifelong growing process...
The fact that you asked ';how'; shows that you are humble and want to be a better Christian...so God knows that, and you will be. God Bless you!I need advice on how i can be a better christian?
Ask yourself why you think you are not a better christian. Look for things you do in your daily life... things that you say... things that you think. Treat people with all the love and respect you would like in life. Make a effort to become a better person. Erase all negitivity from your life.
Dont be a bad christian,duh.
Depends on if you want to be a better person or if you want to be more like Jesus!? To truly be a ';better christian'; you simply and continuously deepen your relationship with God and his son Jesus Christ. The deeper the relationship becomes, the ';better christian'; you will automatically become. To have that deeper realtionship you must be in his word and talk to him daily. Just like any other realtionship, you have to devote time to him.
Walk in truth. Never do, say, or think anything, anytime, anywhere, that you wouldn't want the whole world to know about, nor anything that is not good, and true. Okay, at least try...
Keep asking yourself that question every day before you go to sleep and you'll do just fine.
If that is up to us, then we are all in alot of trouble. However, it is not up to us. We have a Shepherd, Who will lead us where we need to go. It will be easier on you, as you just rest in that.
He, who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it.
serve God by help people in every thing u can do for them especially who need help like the blind , the poor or the ill
Model yourself after the Dali Lama, and not the hypocritical Christian leaders of today who seem to have either not read the sermon on the mount or decided that it wasn't relevant
reading ur bible often and praying.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Christian Wives!! Can I have a little advice please!?
In the beginning of my marriage, my Husband was really into Porno movies and pictures. It was really really hard for me, I felt like he was cheating on me each and every time. Well he stopped doing it for a year or two. And this morning I was on the computer and noticed all these ladies names in the google search bar, so I hit search and sure enough its all porno stars. I am just sick to my stomache,and furious! I asked him about it and he said his coworker told him about a few names and he wanted to check them out. He always has the right things to say to justify his acts, and I hate it! He doesnt understand why it bothers me so much. It took me so long to finally start trusting him, and now we are back to square one. Is it ok for me to be so upset and hurt? Any other ladies deal with this? Please give me some feedback, Thanks!Christian Wives!! Can I have a little advice please!?
Hi there. I know that you have asked for christian wives but i feel i may be able to help due to my massive amount of expirience in this field. So i hope you don't mind. I grew up in a christian home, and am now married with 2 children. First I would like to let you know that it is perfectly fine and normal for you to be so upset. The bible clearly states In Matthew 5:28 ' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a women lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.' So don't beat down upon yourself. I think you need to know that amongst the church in total pornography is a bigger problem than you think. Sexual sins and addictions are the hardest sins to be free from. So many christian men battle pornograph silently in their lives hating them selves for it but at the same time finding reasons to justify it. I have battled pornography since I was 10 years old. It was only in recent years that i discovered i wasn't the only one. I've been through times where i've been so disusted with myself that i wanted to die. I'd give it up for a while, but somehow it would lure me back. Women struggle and most cannot understand this problem. It largely comes down to how men and women differ sexually. Men are easily turned on by our eyesight, and we are constatly surrounded by sexual enticement every where we look, From the media to the girl jogging down the street. It's a full time battle for men, and we get worn down and fail and then hate ourselves for it. Gods standard is perfection. However listen to what paul writes in Romans 3:21-22 ' But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.(22) This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,.'God understands that we cannot meet his standard of perfection So he gives us his righteousness to cover our imperfection due to our sinful nature. Therefore if we come to God with a sincere heart and try to be perfect god covers us with his grace and righteousness. Nothing no matter how perfect we are can make us righteouss. Gods righteousness is the only real righteousness. So what i'm saying is that you can be upset thats understandable, but try not to stand in judgement of him for it for even God doesn't do that. Try however to help him. I for example have a program on my computer that I put on called Windows Live family care. I set up a user for myself that blocks pornography and asked my wife to put in a password that only she knows. I think you should also read and have him read a book called 'Every man's battle'by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It'll cost about $20. This helped me emmensley come to terms with what i was doing and accept that I had to put things in place to prevent me viewing stuff. I hope this has helped. The biggest things you need to remember is that 1.) Pornography is addictive and develops addictions. 2.) Gods Righteousness and forgiveness is for all, and where sin abounds so does the grace of god.Christian Wives!! Can I have a little advice please!?
ive never had to put up with that kind of behavior, and i wouldnt.
Of course it's okay for you to be upset and hurt. Your husband is being very insensitive to your feelings in continuing to do this when he knows how much it upsets you. How would he like it if you kept on doing something that was causing him so much distress? If he doesn't understand, then you need to explain it to him again.
maybe u should start imrpoving your looks - go to gym, die your hair, buy some nice outfits. u obviously have extremely low self esteem cos u re jealous of gorgeous women. i never had this kind of problems - i know i am better than them, idon't need to suck anyone's cock for a living. ain't that an achievement? they re as low as anyone can go and u are jealous? this is very strange
Men are visual creatures by nature. But as we all know pornography can be very addicting as with anything else. This is YOUR marriage and I strongly feel that whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and cheated should not be taken lightly by your husband. Not only do you feel cheated but lied to as well because yes he clearly lied when he said he would never do it again. Porn is not necessary. There are tons of men who do not feel the need to look at porn. So I think that if a man cannot stop after clearly saying he wouldn't do it again may need a little bit of help.
well he must already know how badly this bothers you and him bein a married man should he and a coworker even be discussing this at work or anywhere else for that matter watching that mess is a sin and i would surely have a very strick talk with him and express if he isnt ready to give all that up then you will be giving him up this can just be a bluff but you seem very upset and i would make a believer out of him or you will deal with this 4ever god bless u
sweetheart, im in the exact same position as you. i hope thisisnt your problem but mine is that for too long, ive express my feelings, but i wasnt stern enough about it. i am also a christian woman with a husband who is so charismatic, he always knows what to say. my tactic that has been working for me is to ask him how he would feel if he found out you were checking out male porn stars, this works for me every time. hope this works for you. (ive tried the God is not happy approach, works for a while, but then he forgets and its back to square one.)
and to Ms. yeahright, its not just about looks my friend. im gorgeous if i do say so myself and i still had to pull that one. its not even about him not caring for her looks anymore. its the lust factor, and once you are lusting after another woman, porn or no porn, in my book, and God's, that cheating.
I'm a guy, sorry but what is that femminist thing believing ladies can have the best of the answers, like guys are ';whatever';. I'm a guy, and I'm straight, Porno is not my adiction and I work with guys, I go to school, and Porno is not a conversation in the hallways or an everyday thing, ';it's a guy'; thing, and it's true, but this is a ';your husband issue'; thing if you would like to admit it which is probably your best first step and then try to deal with it.
Is not like Porno is the default and comes attached to guys and one guy can't stop himself from looking at the computer.
This is also a ';broken word'; thing, which is the other issue in here, and even worse, in the process of geting your trust back.
I don't really think there is nothing wrong with Porno in a couple or people, at least to me that's not wrong as it is a broken promisse which is the case in here. I looks like you are completely missing the point. Would you be happy if Christian Wives now tell you (or any wife) ';oh, that's a guy thing, you can't stop it'; then you would feel so much better?, it's still a broken promisse, what's the point of what religion those wives are?.
The last time I heard a man telling another one about names of models, if I'm not wrong we were teenagers and in puverty, because after that, we all took care of the course of our lives, of course I heard them again but it was from that guy who we all know had issues with Porno and who knwos for what reason, I didn't know if he was married or not, I just knew we were in our early 20s and some guy was also printing photos and that kind of stuff, to the rest of the guys he looks like stupid. A husband talking with other men about Porno in his social environment is what I would worry about. We have al talked, but we just know the names, is not that much to come to our home straight to the computer and look to see, because the conversation lasted what it lasted and just minutes after the conversation everyone forgot, regardless if you were single or married.
The best advice I can give you is change the perspective of how you are looking at this issue. Yes it's perfectly ok for you to be upset, because whatever the belief (religion-wise) is about Porno, to begin with, it's a broken promisse and 2 years together that have failed. Yes there are other ladies (not me lol) in your same situation, dealing with broken promisses, of husbands that told them ';I'm not oing to cheat';, ';that was the last time I saw that woman';, ';no more smoking';, ';no more drinking';, ';etc etc etc';.
That's the issue you seem to really have, a broken promisse.
Now ask yourself, what was the need to have to make a promisse of that kind, why that rule has to be put?. It seems things were taken to the limit of his wishes and colied with yours and a line had to be put to not to be crossed, which is ok.
If you aren't willing to deal with that, know that winds are still blowing on his side that forces him to cross that line, at the price of a promisse and there wasn't a problem on breaking it.
It's not your responsibility or in your possibilities to control the other person, because you can't treat him like an animal, i.e. ';I should give him more sex, maybe he will forget';, no, that's not the way to deal with a person, you have to be yourself and if the other person likes it, fine, if it doesn't, then he should leave, and the same thing goes to the man, if he is with someone who doesn't give him sex or attention-whatever, then it's his choice to remain with you.
Again, best advice, stop trying to believe it's a guy's issue, this is a ';your husband issue'; as a matter of fact ';your issue';. It's you the one who have to solve the problem. It's not a funny life to live worrying and not trusting, but again, if the situation continues, you don't like living like that, then that can be solved with a very simple solution, stay or leave, depending if that's/this is the life you have always wanted. That's how I see it.
Well, I'm clearly NOT a Christian Wife. But I am a Christian guy and I can tell you where he's coming from. It's difficult to not look at that kinda stuff. It's easy to justify and nobody really gives us a good reason why we shouldn't be watching this stuff. Men's greatest weakness would be the lust of the eye. However, the more i'm taught about what the dangers are and why it's bad, the more I purposely try to guard myself from it and realize how many images outside of what society calls ';porn'; can actually be damaging to your relationship by creating unfulfillable fantasies and ideals that you have to try and live up to.
Click on the link, maybe it will help explain why it's bad and give you some ideas on what to say to your husband to get him to understand the dangers of it. Maybe you could even get him to read the articles.
Hi there. I know that you have asked for christian wives but i feel i may be able to help due to my massive amount of expirience in this field. So i hope you don't mind. I grew up in a christian home, and am now married with 2 children. First I would like to let you know that it is perfectly fine and normal for you to be so upset. The bible clearly states In Matthew 5:28 ' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a women lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.' So don't beat down upon yourself. I think you need to know that amongst the church in total pornography is a bigger problem than you think. Sexual sins and addictions are the hardest sins to be free from. So many christian men battle pornograph silently in their lives hating them selves for it but at the same time finding reasons to justify it. I have battled pornography since I was 10 years old. It was only in recent years that i discovered i wasn't the only one. I've been through times where i've been so disusted with myself that i wanted to die. I'd give it up for a while, but somehow it would lure me back. Women struggle and most cannot understand this problem. It largely comes down to how men and women differ sexually. Men are easily turned on by our eyesight, and we are constatly surrounded by sexual enticement every where we look, From the media to the girl jogging down the street. It's a full time battle for men, and we get worn down and fail and then hate ourselves for it. Gods standard is perfection. However listen to what paul writes in Romans 3:21-22 ' But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.(22) This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,.'God understands that we cannot meet his standard of perfection So he gives us his righteousness to cover our imperfection due to our sinful nature. Therefore if we come to God with a sincere heart and try to be perfect god covers us with his grace and righteousness. Nothing no matter how perfect we are can make us righteouss. Gods righteousness is the only real righteousness. So what i'm saying is that you can be upset thats understandable, but try not to stand in judgement of him for it for even God doesn't do that. Try however to help him. I for example have a program on my computer that I put on called Windows Live family care. I set up a user for myself that blocks pornography and asked my wife to put in a password that only she knows. I think you should also read and have him read a book called 'Every man's battle'by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It'll cost about $20. This helped me emmensley come to terms with what i was doing and accept that I had to put things in place to prevent me viewing stuff. I hope this has helped. The biggest things you need to remember is that 1.) Pornography is addictive and develops addictions. 2.) Gods Righteousness and forgiveness is for all, and where sin abounds so does the grace of god.Christian Wives!! Can I have a little advice please!?
ive never had to put up with that kind of behavior, and i wouldnt.
Of course it's okay for you to be upset and hurt. Your husband is being very insensitive to your feelings in continuing to do this when he knows how much it upsets you. How would he like it if you kept on doing something that was causing him so much distress? If he doesn't understand, then you need to explain it to him again.
maybe u should start imrpoving your looks - go to gym, die your hair, buy some nice outfits. u obviously have extremely low self esteem cos u re jealous of gorgeous women. i never had this kind of problems - i know i am better than them, idon't need to suck anyone's cock for a living. ain't that an achievement? they re as low as anyone can go and u are jealous? this is very strange
Men are visual creatures by nature. But as we all know pornography can be very addicting as with anything else. This is YOUR marriage and I strongly feel that whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and cheated should not be taken lightly by your husband. Not only do you feel cheated but lied to as well because yes he clearly lied when he said he would never do it again. Porn is not necessary. There are tons of men who do not feel the need to look at porn. So I think that if a man cannot stop after clearly saying he wouldn't do it again may need a little bit of help.
well he must already know how badly this bothers you and him bein a married man should he and a coworker even be discussing this at work or anywhere else for that matter watching that mess is a sin and i would surely have a very strick talk with him and express if he isnt ready to give all that up then you will be giving him up this can just be a bluff but you seem very upset and i would make a believer out of him or you will deal with this 4ever god bless u
sweetheart, im in the exact same position as you. i hope thisisnt your problem but mine is that for too long, ive express my feelings, but i wasnt stern enough about it. i am also a christian woman with a husband who is so charismatic, he always knows what to say. my tactic that has been working for me is to ask him how he would feel if he found out you were checking out male porn stars, this works for me every time. hope this works for you. (ive tried the God is not happy approach, works for a while, but then he forgets and its back to square one.)
and to Ms. yeahright, its not just about looks my friend. im gorgeous if i do say so myself and i still had to pull that one. its not even about him not caring for her looks anymore. its the lust factor, and once you are lusting after another woman, porn or no porn, in my book, and God's, that cheating.
I'm a guy, sorry but what is that femminist thing believing ladies can have the best of the answers, like guys are ';whatever';. I'm a guy, and I'm straight, Porno is not my adiction and I work with guys, I go to school, and Porno is not a conversation in the hallways or an everyday thing, ';it's a guy'; thing, and it's true, but this is a ';your husband issue'; thing if you would like to admit it which is probably your best first step and then try to deal with it.
Is not like Porno is the default and comes attached to guys and one guy can't stop himself from looking at the computer.
This is also a ';broken word'; thing, which is the other issue in here, and even worse, in the process of geting your trust back.
I don't really think there is nothing wrong with Porno in a couple or people, at least to me that's not wrong as it is a broken promisse which is the case in here. I looks like you are completely missing the point. Would you be happy if Christian Wives now tell you (or any wife) ';oh, that's a guy thing, you can't stop it'; then you would feel so much better?, it's still a broken promisse, what's the point of what religion those wives are?.
The last time I heard a man telling another one about names of models, if I'm not wrong we were teenagers and in puverty, because after that, we all took care of the course of our lives, of course I heard them again but it was from that guy who we all know had issues with Porno and who knwos for what reason, I didn't know if he was married or not, I just knew we were in our early 20s and some guy was also printing photos and that kind of stuff, to the rest of the guys he looks like stupid. A husband talking with other men about Porno in his social environment is what I would worry about. We have al talked, but we just know the names, is not that much to come to our home straight to the computer and look to see, because the conversation lasted what it lasted and just minutes after the conversation everyone forgot, regardless if you were single or married.
The best advice I can give you is change the perspective of how you are looking at this issue. Yes it's perfectly ok for you to be upset, because whatever the belief (religion-wise) is about Porno, to begin with, it's a broken promisse and 2 years together that have failed. Yes there are other ladies (not me lol) in your same situation, dealing with broken promisses, of husbands that told them ';I'm not oing to cheat';, ';that was the last time I saw that woman';, ';no more smoking';, ';no more drinking';, ';etc etc etc';.
That's the issue you seem to really have, a broken promisse.
Now ask yourself, what was the need to have to make a promisse of that kind, why that rule has to be put?. It seems things were taken to the limit of his wishes and colied with yours and a line had to be put to not to be crossed, which is ok.
If you aren't willing to deal with that, know that winds are still blowing on his side that forces him to cross that line, at the price of a promisse and there wasn't a problem on breaking it.
It's not your responsibility or in your possibilities to control the other person, because you can't treat him like an animal, i.e. ';I should give him more sex, maybe he will forget';, no, that's not the way to deal with a person, you have to be yourself and if the other person likes it, fine, if it doesn't, then he should leave, and the same thing goes to the man, if he is with someone who doesn't give him sex or attention-whatever, then it's his choice to remain with you.
Again, best advice, stop trying to believe it's a guy's issue, this is a ';your husband issue'; as a matter of fact ';your issue';. It's you the one who have to solve the problem. It's not a funny life to live worrying and not trusting, but again, if the situation continues, you don't like living like that, then that can be solved with a very simple solution, stay or leave, depending if that's/this is the life you have always wanted. That's how I see it.
Well, I'm clearly NOT a Christian Wife. But I am a Christian guy and I can tell you where he's coming from. It's difficult to not look at that kinda stuff. It's easy to justify and nobody really gives us a good reason why we shouldn't be watching this stuff. Men's greatest weakness would be the lust of the eye. However, the more i'm taught about what the dangers are and why it's bad, the more I purposely try to guard myself from it and realize how many images outside of what society calls ';porn'; can actually be damaging to your relationship by creating unfulfillable fantasies and ideals that you have to try and live up to.
Click on the link, maybe it will help explain why it's bad and give you some ideas on what to say to your husband to get him to understand the dangers of it. Maybe you could even get him to read the articles.
Can I get advice from someone with a strong Christian faith?
My friend is going to be staying with her sister for a few weeks while their parents go on a cruise for their anniversary.
Well, my friend found out her sister is in a gay relationship with another woman. This woman will be staying in the house for one of the weeks my friend is there. My friend is really uncomfortable and doesn't want to stay there. We both have a relationship with Jesus Christ and know the lifestyle is unholy.
I'm really worried about my friend being stuck in that situation for 2 weeks so I want to offer to let her stay with me. My parents will want to know why she's no longer staying with her sister though. I can't lie to them but that would involve betraying my friend's trust.
I'm really worried and I can't ask my youth pastor because my friend doesn't want anyone to know about her sister (her parents don't even know).
Should I convince my friend to tell her parents? It'll cause a huge family problem but I can't do nothing. I feel like I'm being tested.Can I get advice from someone with a strong Christian faith?
If you knew someone was about to walk off a cliff, would you stop them?
Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing but you must not tire of doing what's right. You'll reap a righteous reward. BlessingsCan I get advice from someone with a strong Christian faith?
I would have your friend tell her sister you are thinking about telling. You are not obligated to keep her immoral secrets for her(your friend's sister). Be honest with the gay sister and let her decide whether she wants to pursue immorality in her parents home or whether she will change her mind and not inconvenience your lives by feeling like you need to lie. If she really wants to keep her gayness a secret from the adults she will agree that her friend will not stay over. Leave it up to her.
I don't have a Bible verse for this one, so I'm kind of stumped. This is just my opinion.
If it was me, I would ask my parents. I they ask why she doesn't want to stay with her sister, I would just say that you would like her to stay with you. If they press, I would just say that I'm not in a position to betray the reason. I wouldn't beg or complain if they say no since I couldn't tell them the reason.
If her sister lives close you can go and be there for her during the day. You can also preach the gospel to both of the girls in the relationship. Instead of convincing your friend to tell her parents you should both try to get the sister to tell her parents. If nothing can be done pray and trust the lord. The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
God Bless
JLU
Are you afraid she will 'turn gay' in her sister's wake? The fact the sister is inviting someone to stay while the parents are away is either sneaky and underhanded or approved by the parents. You can ask your parents about the sleepover arrangement for your friend, and just say you would love to have her stay with you; no explanations needed. What your friend's sister does is between her, her partner, her parents and her maker, ultimately.
Pray, but don't snitch.
I think your friend should use this time to bond with her sister and maybe understand her and her lifestyle a little more. She shouldn't go to try to convert her just spend the time with her and she can share her faith with her and her sister can share her lifestyle with your friend and they both might learn something. If Jesus only spent his time with people that agreed with him where would Christianity be today? BTW I am not a Christian but I hope you take my advice just the same.
I would say let it be. Your friend may be there for 'such a time as this' who knows, your friend may have a positive effect. Your friend is not the one who is in this relationship, but they can still sit a good example. Christan's are not 'harmed' by proximity to sin, only when they give in to the sin. I would NOT cause more trouble for the other two. That would just build more resentment.
Don't get involved in family affairs that are not your own first off. Second off how do you ';know'; their lifestyle is unholy Christ never makes any sort of reference to it in the bible. Hmm seems like i know christ better than you and I don't have that creepy ';relationship'; with him. Man Christians are so unchrist like, but what do I know go on cast that first stone.
Well I think that your friend should tell her sister that she if uncomfortable with her lifestyle and if she could keep it clean while she is there and ask if her partner could find somewhere else to stay while she is with her sister. If her sister won't agree to this then I think that she has to tell her parents why she won't stay there. Remember what Jesus said that He will divide a mother against her son a father against his daughter. May our Lord help you with you problem
you do not say your friend or her sisters age but her parents are expecting her to stay in the home with her sister so I think she should. I suggest you pray on it with her pray for her sister and this friend if she stays. if she does not want to stay there while her sisters friend is then just ask your parents if she can stay that week as she is feeling like piggy in the middle.
Unless you really feel like God is telling you otherwise, I highly suggest you stay out of it.
Pray for you friend that she makes the right decision, but do the best you can not to interfere. This is a family matter and if you get too involved, it could come back to bite you.
Take care and God bless!
How does her sister feel about the predicament this creates for your freind?
does she care about what her sister thinks?
Is her sister afraid that her parents know of her alignment?
do you think they would chose differently if they did?
Pray about it, talk to her sister, let her stay with you, and let her sister explain!
I think she should stay with this girl and let it challenge her. Gay people don't have cooties. They're just sinners like everyone else outside of Christ. If there were someone staying with her that did not know Christ, but wasn't gay would you feel the same way? Ponder that question...
Why don't you and your friend dress up in Puritan clothes, go to her sister's house, march her sister down to the town square, lock her sister in the public stocks, and put a sign around her neck saying: ';Repent all ye who turn thy back on the word of God!';....?
Sounds like a plan
Just because someone close to you has a relationship you don't approve doesn't mean that you are to avoid them. It may be uncomfortable but that person is still your friend's sister. You friend should stay with her sister. After all, it is only for 1 week.
I think she and you should just tell it like it is. This is a good chance to take a stand for righteousness and against immorality. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Her allegiance is to God first and his righteousness. That's standing firm in your faith.
Good job keeping a secret.
Your friend should go stay with her sister, keep her mouth shut about her opinions, and try to learn something about her sister and the person she cares for. Maybe it will expand her horizons a bit and not make her so judgmental.
If your friend is uncomfortable about the situation, she needs to speak up, not you. You can (and should) be supportive of her, but she has to do this herself.
It is only for two weeks . Her sister will have to answer for her own lifestyle. Tell your friend to be active -out and about those two weeks so she won't be home too much,Just to sleep.
THATS STUPID. just as lying is a sin, so is being gay. god forgives both. stop judging people, and grow up. just because they are gay doesnt mean anything. their still people.
First off She should tell her parents,
every thing. then go from there. She should not stay alone with here gay friend or here girl friend and they should not be in the house alone. A friend in Christ Alan.
if your friend is uncomfortable, then she doesn't have to go. you're gonna have to talk to someone about it and so is she.
hai friend.....unka msg read panninathum reply panna asai than...but na eng la type panna maten...so nenka enta tamil la ketenkana solren ok va anything is wrong i say sorry pa,,,,
That's discus ting. -- The part where your friend doesn't want to be around someone who is gay. Go back to 1950 where you belong.
Don't be afraid, let love be your motivation.
Jesus ate with sinners. I think your friend will be fine,pray for her. Maybe God will use her in this situation.
Tell your parents and hers..it may not be too late to help her life the right kind of life.
Leave them alone.Why are you so fast to judge others?
I thought Christians were meant to accept all people that's what Jesus did.
we live in a fallen world that is filled with fallen people....
1 Corinthians Chapter 5
9 I wrote unto you in an epistle NOT to company with fornicators:
10 Yet NOT altogether with the fornicators of THIS WORLD, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go OUT of the world.
11 But now I have written unto you NOT to keep company, if any man that is called a BROTHER (or SISTER in the Lord) be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
12 FOR WHAT HAVE I TO DO TO JUDGE THEM ALSO THAT ARE WITHOUT? do not ye judge them that are WITHIN?
13 BUT THEM THAT ARE WITHOUT GOD JUDGETH. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person (BELIEVER).
She should first tell her sister that she is uncomfortable with the other woman staying there, and that out of respect see if there can be other arrangments made.
I do not think you should tell your parents yourself, but if the two of you together could talk to then. YOu may not even have to tell them the exact reason, just that she is having problems with her sister and she would feel more comfortable staying with you. Maybe you could say that she does not want to stay while her sister's';significant other'; is there. No need to say that it is a woman.
Pray about it, and be there for your friend, but I would not get in the middle of her family drama. Just be there when she needs you.pores
Well, my friend found out her sister is in a gay relationship with another woman. This woman will be staying in the house for one of the weeks my friend is there. My friend is really uncomfortable and doesn't want to stay there. We both have a relationship with Jesus Christ and know the lifestyle is unholy.
I'm really worried about my friend being stuck in that situation for 2 weeks so I want to offer to let her stay with me. My parents will want to know why she's no longer staying with her sister though. I can't lie to them but that would involve betraying my friend's trust.
I'm really worried and I can't ask my youth pastor because my friend doesn't want anyone to know about her sister (her parents don't even know).
Should I convince my friend to tell her parents? It'll cause a huge family problem but I can't do nothing. I feel like I'm being tested.Can I get advice from someone with a strong Christian faith?
If you knew someone was about to walk off a cliff, would you stop them?
Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing but you must not tire of doing what's right. You'll reap a righteous reward. BlessingsCan I get advice from someone with a strong Christian faith?
I would have your friend tell her sister you are thinking about telling. You are not obligated to keep her immoral secrets for her(your friend's sister). Be honest with the gay sister and let her decide whether she wants to pursue immorality in her parents home or whether she will change her mind and not inconvenience your lives by feeling like you need to lie. If she really wants to keep her gayness a secret from the adults she will agree that her friend will not stay over. Leave it up to her.
I don't have a Bible verse for this one, so I'm kind of stumped. This is just my opinion.
If it was me, I would ask my parents. I they ask why she doesn't want to stay with her sister, I would just say that you would like her to stay with you. If they press, I would just say that I'm not in a position to betray the reason. I wouldn't beg or complain if they say no since I couldn't tell them the reason.
If her sister lives close you can go and be there for her during the day. You can also preach the gospel to both of the girls in the relationship. Instead of convincing your friend to tell her parents you should both try to get the sister to tell her parents. If nothing can be done pray and trust the lord. The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
God Bless
JLU
Are you afraid she will 'turn gay' in her sister's wake? The fact the sister is inviting someone to stay while the parents are away is either sneaky and underhanded or approved by the parents. You can ask your parents about the sleepover arrangement for your friend, and just say you would love to have her stay with you; no explanations needed. What your friend's sister does is between her, her partner, her parents and her maker, ultimately.
Pray, but don't snitch.
I think your friend should use this time to bond with her sister and maybe understand her and her lifestyle a little more. She shouldn't go to try to convert her just spend the time with her and she can share her faith with her and her sister can share her lifestyle with your friend and they both might learn something. If Jesus only spent his time with people that agreed with him where would Christianity be today? BTW I am not a Christian but I hope you take my advice just the same.
I would say let it be. Your friend may be there for 'such a time as this' who knows, your friend may have a positive effect. Your friend is not the one who is in this relationship, but they can still sit a good example. Christan's are not 'harmed' by proximity to sin, only when they give in to the sin. I would NOT cause more trouble for the other two. That would just build more resentment.
Don't get involved in family affairs that are not your own first off. Second off how do you ';know'; their lifestyle is unholy Christ never makes any sort of reference to it in the bible. Hmm seems like i know christ better than you and I don't have that creepy ';relationship'; with him. Man Christians are so unchrist like, but what do I know go on cast that first stone.
Well I think that your friend should tell her sister that she if uncomfortable with her lifestyle and if she could keep it clean while she is there and ask if her partner could find somewhere else to stay while she is with her sister. If her sister won't agree to this then I think that she has to tell her parents why she won't stay there. Remember what Jesus said that He will divide a mother against her son a father against his daughter. May our Lord help you with you problem
you do not say your friend or her sisters age but her parents are expecting her to stay in the home with her sister so I think she should. I suggest you pray on it with her pray for her sister and this friend if she stays. if she does not want to stay there while her sisters friend is then just ask your parents if she can stay that week as she is feeling like piggy in the middle.
Unless you really feel like God is telling you otherwise, I highly suggest you stay out of it.
Pray for you friend that she makes the right decision, but do the best you can not to interfere. This is a family matter and if you get too involved, it could come back to bite you.
Take care and God bless!
How does her sister feel about the predicament this creates for your freind?
does she care about what her sister thinks?
Is her sister afraid that her parents know of her alignment?
do you think they would chose differently if they did?
Pray about it, talk to her sister, let her stay with you, and let her sister explain!
I think she should stay with this girl and let it challenge her. Gay people don't have cooties. They're just sinners like everyone else outside of Christ. If there were someone staying with her that did not know Christ, but wasn't gay would you feel the same way? Ponder that question...
Why don't you and your friend dress up in Puritan clothes, go to her sister's house, march her sister down to the town square, lock her sister in the public stocks, and put a sign around her neck saying: ';Repent all ye who turn thy back on the word of God!';....?
Sounds like a plan
Just because someone close to you has a relationship you don't approve doesn't mean that you are to avoid them. It may be uncomfortable but that person is still your friend's sister. You friend should stay with her sister. After all, it is only for 1 week.
I think she and you should just tell it like it is. This is a good chance to take a stand for righteousness and against immorality. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Her allegiance is to God first and his righteousness. That's standing firm in your faith.
Good job keeping a secret.
Your friend should go stay with her sister, keep her mouth shut about her opinions, and try to learn something about her sister and the person she cares for. Maybe it will expand her horizons a bit and not make her so judgmental.
If your friend is uncomfortable about the situation, she needs to speak up, not you. You can (and should) be supportive of her, but she has to do this herself.
It is only for two weeks . Her sister will have to answer for her own lifestyle. Tell your friend to be active -out and about those two weeks so she won't be home too much,Just to sleep.
THATS STUPID. just as lying is a sin, so is being gay. god forgives both. stop judging people, and grow up. just because they are gay doesnt mean anything. their still people.
First off She should tell her parents,
every thing. then go from there. She should not stay alone with here gay friend or here girl friend and they should not be in the house alone. A friend in Christ Alan.
if your friend is uncomfortable, then she doesn't have to go. you're gonna have to talk to someone about it and so is she.
hai friend.....unka msg read panninathum reply panna asai than...but na eng la type panna maten...so nenka enta tamil la ketenkana solren ok va anything is wrong i say sorry pa,,,,
That's discus ting. -- The part where your friend doesn't want to be around someone who is gay. Go back to 1950 where you belong.
Don't be afraid, let love be your motivation.
Jesus ate with sinners. I think your friend will be fine,pray for her. Maybe God will use her in this situation.
Tell your parents and hers..it may not be too late to help her life the right kind of life.
Leave them alone.Why are you so fast to judge others?
I thought Christians were meant to accept all people that's what Jesus did.
we live in a fallen world that is filled with fallen people....
1 Corinthians Chapter 5
9 I wrote unto you in an epistle NOT to company with fornicators:
10 Yet NOT altogether with the fornicators of THIS WORLD, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go OUT of the world.
11 But now I have written unto you NOT to keep company, if any man that is called a BROTHER (or SISTER in the Lord) be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
12 FOR WHAT HAVE I TO DO TO JUDGE THEM ALSO THAT ARE WITHOUT? do not ye judge them that are WITHIN?
13 BUT THEM THAT ARE WITHOUT GOD JUDGETH. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person (BELIEVER).
She should first tell her sister that she is uncomfortable with the other woman staying there, and that out of respect see if there can be other arrangments made.
I do not think you should tell your parents yourself, but if the two of you together could talk to then. YOu may not even have to tell them the exact reason, just that she is having problems with her sister and she would feel more comfortable staying with you. Maybe you could say that she does not want to stay while her sister's';significant other'; is there. No need to say that it is a woman.
Pray about it, and be there for your friend, but I would not get in the middle of her family drama. Just be there when she needs you.
Christians: Need godly advice about a roadblock in my Christian walk?
Ok, here's something that is bugging me lately in my Christian walk
As a bible believing Christian we believe that Jesus and being a devoted Christian is the only way to heaven, right? All other religions are false or imcomplete so they are in danger of hell, right? This is all in the bible and it is hard to impossible to dispute these facts biblicaly speaking.
Well, other religions may think the same thing. But in their view we are going to hell because we don't believe in their path to heaven.
Isn't that really scary from both perspectives?!
My main question is as Christians how do we know we are 100% right and they are 100% wrong?
I mean the reasons other people believe so adamently in their religion is basically the same reasons we believe in ours so strongly.
Here's some of those shared reasons:
- It is the predominent religon in our respcective countries. USA-christian, Saudi Arabia-Muslim, China-buddhist, India-Hindu and so on. We adopt the same religon as our country mostly without even thinking gee if was born in Iran i probably would be Muslim (very,very likely) and not christian.
- Our families were this religion so we are too with no thought as to why
- It has good values so it is good too
- we are right they are wrong we are special
- god talks to us we must be right
- we enjoy it it must be alright
- many people believe it it must be right
- if we question it we will go to hell so better not
- our sacred book is just too wise to be wrong
- our religious person is better than their relgious person
and so on and so on
most christians believe as they do because of those above reasons. They are bad reasons! They are ignorant and don't provide intelligent, factual, logical reasons why we are right and the other religions are wrong.
What are some good reasons why you are christian and believe we are right?Christians: Need godly advice about a roadblock in my Christian walk?
Yeah i have thought about this road block many times during my journey with god and i have a few reasons to believe that christianity is the right way to go :)
Firstly, no other god has given their people such a beautiful sacrifice. Through the death of Jesus, god has showed us the meaning of true love. Now that's an amazing creator!
Secondly, the bible is too historically backed up to be wrong.
Thirdly, last time i researched i found that the majority of the religious world are christians/ believe in christianity.
And lastly, is because it all fits. I guess what really set it off for me was when i had only been a christian for four months (the same as my friend deb), deb actually spoke in tongues right infront of me. It was scary as. She prayed to the lord, the christian lord, and as i believe, the only god of the world... and so by her being blessed with the gift of tongues at that very moment was such an amazing gift from god... one i will never forget.
Just keep talking to christians... this roadblock is from the devil and he wants to suck you back in.. don't do it to god, he loves you far too much :)
God bless, and good luck!Christians: Need godly advice about a roadblock in my Christian walk?
It's because the whole thing is flawed. People become atheists when they see this inherent flaw in EVERY religion.
There is no such thing as a GOOD Christian, only a good human being who happens to believe in what's written in the bible.
We have the blessed assurance from the Holy Spirit. They have nothing.
Uh, the Bible never said that.... you are sadly misinformed.
FYI The world is full of brown skinned people who think white Americans are loony as loony tunes. Ever stop to wonder why?
';As a bible believing Christian we believe that Jesus and being a devoted Christian is the only way to heaven, right?';
No, accepting God's grace is the only way.
';All other religions are false or incomplete so they are in danger of hell, right?';
No, if a religion rejects God's teaching it is false.
';This is all in the bible and it is hard to impossible to dispute these facts biblicaly speaking.';
No, you are pulling isolated text that can be mistranslated.
';My main question is as Christians how do we know we are 100% right and they are 100% wrong?';
Few, if any, real religions are 100% wrong. We believe we are 100% right based on faith, reason and the fact that God's Law is written on our hearts and anytime that law is violated, if you are spiritually sound, you will know it.
Well, there was a video I was going to show you about how you can be sure the bible is true, but the archive from my old church website was nearly 3 years old, and it's not there anymore.
I think the main difference that stands out to me between Christianity and all other religions is that Christianity is the only religion that teaches our salvation comes from God's grace, not from human works. Humans cannot achieve salvation on our own, and because God loves us, he sent his only son, Jesus to pay the price for all of our transgressions.
Also, people died accounting for what they witnessed Jesus do.
If you do a thorough study in comparative religion you will see that the differences in religions are primarily based in culturally diverse forms of expression, philosophical differences and political overtones. The various prophets of each of the religions were really talking about very similar ideas, but remember that they never wrote anything down...it was their followers or followers followers that wrote it all down.
Oh yes, and the you have the ';mythological factor'; which tends to warp the historical facts as well.
Almost all religions speak of the struggle between ';flesh'; and ';spirit'; and the awakening of the latter.
Really I leave that to God and when the heart turns to Him the veil is taken away. Mother Teresa talks of seeing Jesus in everyone and in a distressing disguise. God gave these and all people a wonderful gift and they are not abandoned by Him so the closer we personally get to Jesus maybe we will see more clearly His saving power.
I think every person need to find the GOD they believe in.
We will not satisfy everyone, so we might as well satisfy our GOD.
If there is 'no-god' in their life, they trust in themselves.
To each his/her destiny.
I believe in the Prayer of this Man: John 17.
All other religions of the world require you to ';do'; something to earn heaven. What you believe in God to be true (or not true) does not effect who He is one tiny bit. God does not change, most especially on the fickleness of the human heart. He is God and loves you beyond measure. You cannot earn that love because it is freely given, nor can anything take away that love. You can reject that love, even for a season, but God always wait patiently for you to return home.
All that God asks for is a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ and trust that Jesus will save us and is saving us.
Trust in Jesus Christ, there is no other name by which man may be saved.
Go to Ravi Zacharias website, he can explain the things of God far better than I can.
http://www.rzim.org/
Either we believe, or else we do not believe; its that simple. You sound as one in doubt, but you ought to rather say as the apostle Paul had said, saying; ';I know whom I believe';. Christ told doubting Thomas to not be faithless, but believing, and then told him:
';Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed';.
First you have to believe that Jesus is the Son of God. You have to base that on faith. Faith is what our religion is all about. Believing without seeing. However, what makes christianity different than all other religions is that we serve a risen Lord. Where's Buddha, Mohammed, Joseph Smith, David Koresh and the others? They are dead and buried. Jesus rose from the dead. Had Jesus not risen then our preaching would be in vain, our faith would be in vain, and we'd be still lost in our sin. ref I Corinthians Chapter 15
This list of shared reasons is every reason we must respect different religious and spiritual beliefs. Based on your list of reasons there is NO reason to think that Christianity is the only way. Your problem is that someone taught you that ';All other religions are false';. PSSST - The bible only speaks to Christian doctrine. It tells you about being a christian. There is another book that tells a Jew how to be a good Jew and buddaha has a book, etc, etc, What is your good reason?
What is a Christian? A Christian is someone who follows the teachings of Jesus. How do we know what Jesus taught? The New Testament.
What is the New Testament? It is a collection of scripts written by different people and bound together in a single volume. There are other scripts not in the New Testament. Some of these people were the followers of Jesus. Did they all lie? If it was all written by just one man, I would be sceptical of it but it wasn't.
The New Testament tells us that Jesus was the Son of God. He is the right choice to follow.
Is is possible that all the other religions are actually following the same God under a different name. Could relgions with multiple gods just be worshipping different aspects of a single god?
As a bible believing Christian we believe that Jesus and being a devoted Christian is the only way to heaven, right? All other religions are false or imcomplete so they are in danger of hell, right? This is all in the bible and it is hard to impossible to dispute these facts biblicaly speaking.
Well, other religions may think the same thing. But in their view we are going to hell because we don't believe in their path to heaven.
Isn't that really scary from both perspectives?!
My main question is as Christians how do we know we are 100% right and they are 100% wrong?
I mean the reasons other people believe so adamently in their religion is basically the same reasons we believe in ours so strongly.
Here's some of those shared reasons:
- It is the predominent religon in our respcective countries. USA-christian, Saudi Arabia-Muslim, China-buddhist, India-Hindu and so on. We adopt the same religon as our country mostly without even thinking gee if was born in Iran i probably would be Muslim (very,very likely) and not christian.
- Our families were this religion so we are too with no thought as to why
- It has good values so it is good too
- we are right they are wrong we are special
- god talks to us we must be right
- we enjoy it it must be alright
- many people believe it it must be right
- if we question it we will go to hell so better not
- our sacred book is just too wise to be wrong
- our religious person is better than their relgious person
and so on and so on
most christians believe as they do because of those above reasons. They are bad reasons! They are ignorant and don't provide intelligent, factual, logical reasons why we are right and the other religions are wrong.
What are some good reasons why you are christian and believe we are right?Christians: Need godly advice about a roadblock in my Christian walk?
Yeah i have thought about this road block many times during my journey with god and i have a few reasons to believe that christianity is the right way to go :)
Firstly, no other god has given their people such a beautiful sacrifice. Through the death of Jesus, god has showed us the meaning of true love. Now that's an amazing creator!
Secondly, the bible is too historically backed up to be wrong.
Thirdly, last time i researched i found that the majority of the religious world are christians/ believe in christianity.
And lastly, is because it all fits. I guess what really set it off for me was when i had only been a christian for four months (the same as my friend deb), deb actually spoke in tongues right infront of me. It was scary as. She prayed to the lord, the christian lord, and as i believe, the only god of the world... and so by her being blessed with the gift of tongues at that very moment was such an amazing gift from god... one i will never forget.
Just keep talking to christians... this roadblock is from the devil and he wants to suck you back in.. don't do it to god, he loves you far too much :)
God bless, and good luck!Christians: Need godly advice about a roadblock in my Christian walk?
It's because the whole thing is flawed. People become atheists when they see this inherent flaw in EVERY religion.
There is no such thing as a GOOD Christian, only a good human being who happens to believe in what's written in the bible.
We have the blessed assurance from the Holy Spirit. They have nothing.
Uh, the Bible never said that.... you are sadly misinformed.
FYI The world is full of brown skinned people who think white Americans are loony as loony tunes. Ever stop to wonder why?
';As a bible believing Christian we believe that Jesus and being a devoted Christian is the only way to heaven, right?';
No, accepting God's grace is the only way.
';All other religions are false or incomplete so they are in danger of hell, right?';
No, if a religion rejects God's teaching it is false.
';This is all in the bible and it is hard to impossible to dispute these facts biblicaly speaking.';
No, you are pulling isolated text that can be mistranslated.
';My main question is as Christians how do we know we are 100% right and they are 100% wrong?';
Few, if any, real religions are 100% wrong. We believe we are 100% right based on faith, reason and the fact that God's Law is written on our hearts and anytime that law is violated, if you are spiritually sound, you will know it.
Well, there was a video I was going to show you about how you can be sure the bible is true, but the archive from my old church website was nearly 3 years old, and it's not there anymore.
I think the main difference that stands out to me between Christianity and all other religions is that Christianity is the only religion that teaches our salvation comes from God's grace, not from human works. Humans cannot achieve salvation on our own, and because God loves us, he sent his only son, Jesus to pay the price for all of our transgressions.
Also, people died accounting for what they witnessed Jesus do.
If you do a thorough study in comparative religion you will see that the differences in religions are primarily based in culturally diverse forms of expression, philosophical differences and political overtones. The various prophets of each of the religions were really talking about very similar ideas, but remember that they never wrote anything down...it was their followers or followers followers that wrote it all down.
Oh yes, and the you have the ';mythological factor'; which tends to warp the historical facts as well.
Almost all religions speak of the struggle between ';flesh'; and ';spirit'; and the awakening of the latter.
Really I leave that to God and when the heart turns to Him the veil is taken away. Mother Teresa talks of seeing Jesus in everyone and in a distressing disguise. God gave these and all people a wonderful gift and they are not abandoned by Him so the closer we personally get to Jesus maybe we will see more clearly His saving power.
I think every person need to find the GOD they believe in.
We will not satisfy everyone, so we might as well satisfy our GOD.
If there is 'no-god' in their life, they trust in themselves.
To each his/her destiny.
I believe in the Prayer of this Man: John 17.
All other religions of the world require you to ';do'; something to earn heaven. What you believe in God to be true (or not true) does not effect who He is one tiny bit. God does not change, most especially on the fickleness of the human heart. He is God and loves you beyond measure. You cannot earn that love because it is freely given, nor can anything take away that love. You can reject that love, even for a season, but God always wait patiently for you to return home.
All that God asks for is a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ and trust that Jesus will save us and is saving us.
Trust in Jesus Christ, there is no other name by which man may be saved.
Go to Ravi Zacharias website, he can explain the things of God far better than I can.
http://www.rzim.org/
Either we believe, or else we do not believe; its that simple. You sound as one in doubt, but you ought to rather say as the apostle Paul had said, saying; ';I know whom I believe';. Christ told doubting Thomas to not be faithless, but believing, and then told him:
';Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed';.
First you have to believe that Jesus is the Son of God. You have to base that on faith. Faith is what our religion is all about. Believing without seeing. However, what makes christianity different than all other religions is that we serve a risen Lord. Where's Buddha, Mohammed, Joseph Smith, David Koresh and the others? They are dead and buried. Jesus rose from the dead. Had Jesus not risen then our preaching would be in vain, our faith would be in vain, and we'd be still lost in our sin. ref I Corinthians Chapter 15
This list of shared reasons is every reason we must respect different religious and spiritual beliefs. Based on your list of reasons there is NO reason to think that Christianity is the only way. Your problem is that someone taught you that ';All other religions are false';. PSSST - The bible only speaks to Christian doctrine. It tells you about being a christian. There is another book that tells a Jew how to be a good Jew and buddaha has a book, etc, etc, What is your good reason?
What is a Christian? A Christian is someone who follows the teachings of Jesus. How do we know what Jesus taught? The New Testament.
What is the New Testament? It is a collection of scripts written by different people and bound together in a single volume. There are other scripts not in the New Testament. Some of these people were the followers of Jesus. Did they all lie? If it was all written by just one man, I would be sceptical of it but it wasn't.
The New Testament tells us that Jesus was the Son of God. He is the right choice to follow.
Is is possible that all the other religions are actually following the same God under a different name. Could relgions with multiple gods just be worshipping different aspects of a single god?
I need advice on how to Maintain a Christian Family while having Atheist In laws? Help?
I have been a devote Christian my whole life, and my husband was raised in an Atheist family.
Shortly after meeting my husband I took him to my Families Church and we spent several years in My Families Church before we got married. That's where my Husband accepted Christ.
My MIL did not like the Idea of my family ';Brainwashing'; her son.
Whatever...we were adults and didn't care what she said.
However the issue takes a whole new spin when I will be bringing
the First Grandchild into the world.
We want our Child to grow in a Christian atmosphere. We want our Child to attend christian schools and get to know the Lord like I do. But We both fear the my Mil will try to teach our Children UnGodly ways of life.
I want our Children to know my Husbands mom but I also want to keep our Child away from my MIL's idea's that it's Ok to drink and smoke and that sex is Ok and were meant to be sexual beings as what she told me as I started dating her son.
How can I instill the Christian lifestyle into my children, while at the same time maintaining a healthy relationship with my MIL?I need advice on how to Maintain a Christian Family while having Atheist In laws? Help?
You have the right to raise your child the way you want. So set in motion the life you want for your child and if your MIL crosses the line set up appropriate boundaries.I need advice on how to Maintain a Christian Family while having Atheist In laws? Help?
it's simple
you control the visits and supervise them as well
but your lifestyle and beliefs will hold him on the the straight and narrow
but you never truly have a good relationship with you MIL so as long as she sees you as the one who took her son away and converted him
so why even bother
You sound like a typical, judgemental Christian.
It is pointless giving you a real answer, since your mind is obviously so closed. I only hope your kid grows up and realizes that his mother is an ignorant, judgemental woman. One day, he will, believe me.
what inthe world makes you think God would ever condone coming between a child and its grandparents? that isnt my kind of christianity and isn't the kind taught in the bible.
you got a lot of growing up to do young lady.
Why don't you seal them up in plastic wrap to keep them from all ';ungodly'; influences? People like you disgust me.
I see you and your husband have been married less than a year. Don't worry, he'll wise up.
I'm Atheist and I wouldnt worry about her teaching the child ';ungodly ways';. My step daughter is christian, and I support her beliefs. If your Mother In Law has respect for her son then she will support your childs beliefs.
You keep to your views, opinions, faith in God, this is who you are..keep to that, don't ever compromise. If your MIL doesn't understand, then she is losing a big opportunity to be with family.
minimize her influence over the child. When she visits give her the rules. be direct with her when she's around. Don't use her to baby sit find a christian so she won't undo what you are sowing
Sure, raise them in total ignorance; that's just what ';God'; would want.
I feel sorry for the kid, having such a mother as you.
You have to raise your child the way you want them to be
Children are not our possessions or captives. If you love your child you will help him or her to explore the world, learn to think critically, and reach his or her own conclusions. If you are confident in your own beliefs you must surely be confident in their capacity to convince others - without exclusive brain washing. I grew up as an atheist, with Sunday School friends, a father with unbounded curiosity and an open mind, and a mother from a family of former regular church-goers who eventually lapsed into a kind of superstitious belief in a God nobody understood or could speak for. It did me no harm. Have faith in your children, more than your need to reinforce your own beliefs for your own comfort. There are plenty of good human beings who are not Christians. The ethics inherent in Christianity (and many other religions) are more firmly supported by internal reflection and observation, than merely by external doctrine. Surely to presume you know exclusively about God etc is a form of excessive pride or hubris?
This is hindsight, but you knew this before you got married. Did you both discuss this beforehand %26amp; decide on ground rules? In instances on child rearing, no matter what the problems with the inlaws are, it's what the parents of the children say goes. Your inlaws are not the parents. You %26amp; you husband are. Since they are his parents he is the one who needs to have a frank, but respectful discussion with them and tell him what the deal is - and they can either respect that or time with the children will be limited. My personal spin on this is that you are the one with an ';attitude'; that needs a little adjustment. I know some Atheists %26amp; none of them are as ';evil'; as you portray them to be. What is wrong morally with smoking %26amp; drinking as long as it is in moderation? Yes it's dangerous to the health but Ungodly? Sounds like you are holier than thou. And what the heck are you talking about that humans are not sexual beings? You are pregnant, so you had sex. What Christian faith do you believe in? I've never heard of any sect that teaches that stuff. You keep shoving you own beliefs down people's throats %26amp; acting superior someone's gonna put you in your place, hard. I think your MIL is right, you might be brainwashing. BTW, some of the biggest hypocrits I've ever encountered are the people yelling ';Christian'; ';Christian'; ';Christian';. They act like they are the only good people on earth. That is so insulting to people of other faiths. Shabara actually said it much more delicately as I did, though. My bad.
I think it is your right to politely have a talk with your in laws to avoid religious discussions with your child (aka they shouldn't be telling your five year old that God doesn't exist) until he is old enough to understand their lack of beliefs (maybe after age 13?). The only catch to this though is, if your child ever ASKS their opinion, I do think they have the right to tell the truth about what they believe, it's not right to condemn their ideas...I just don't think they should be actively pushing your child to not believe in things when he/she is too young. I don't think that you should limit time your child spends with them, that would probably hurt your in laws and no matter what they think, they still love your child and they should be able to see him/her. I also don't think you should villanize the in laws in anyway, it will just create a rift in the family that is not needed.
In the end, no child goes through life without seeing or hearing things that maybe he/she shouldn't and will also witness and experience things that go against the fundamental beliefs of their parents. But, if their parents give them a strong basis, in the end that is all that will matter. You cannot ensure that your child will forever be a Christian, but you can ensure that if you teach him/her how to live with peace, love, dignity, and strength of character that he or she will grow to be a good person, and in the end that is probably the most you could ever ask for.
I'm married to a Russian man and honestly...I don't think your marriage will last. Sorry if that is rude but in order to be with a man from another culture you have to have an OPEN mind. You are extreme Christian who is narrow minded...therefore i don't think your marriage will last. The reason is you're too extreme Christian for any Russian man to be with. Russia has a history of no religion due to communism and I do not see how someone that is as extreme Christian as you can be compatible with a Russian male. It's so strange it's laughable but good luck to you though.
btw, my father in law is atheist and he's a very kind caring grandfather to our son....that's why I don't understand your question. I think I don't understand your question because I am OPEN minded, accept Russian culture. you really should think about opening your mind if you want your marriage to last. seriously if you want to be extreme and accepting of only your things you should have married a man from your small town, some American guy from your church that was named like John Smith or something. lol.
Children grow up by example. They learn by how you act. Yes mother in law may teach them things that you don't agree with and teach them the stuff that would cause them to stray, but they would also learn the same thing in highschool and even middleschool. Even christian schools. A growing human is naturally curious about EVERYTHING. If you act in a certain way that'll be one of the ways your children will more easily resort to because that's what they know how to do. Teach them by giving them knowledge about what is bad so they know how to go against peer pressure whether it be best friend boyfriend girlfriend or mother in law pressuring them. You can't shelter them from the world. One main thing you should teach them is that this world and the material things in it are only temporary.
No matter how different the grandparent's viewpoint is, no grandchild should be kept from his or her grandparent. Both are valuable to each other. The only solution I can see is that the grandmother is free to visit the grandchild as often as she pleases....as long as you and your husband are there. Make this very clear to her. If she can't respect your decision, then it will be her loss. NEVER EVER tell her she can't see her grandbaby. Just make it extremely clear under what circumstances it will happen, though, and let the outcome be in her control. If she truly loves your baby, she will accept this. Good luck! It sounds like you and your husband will be WONDERFUL parents! =)
Shortly after meeting my husband I took him to my Families Church and we spent several years in My Families Church before we got married. That's where my Husband accepted Christ.
My MIL did not like the Idea of my family ';Brainwashing'; her son.
Whatever...we were adults and didn't care what she said.
However the issue takes a whole new spin when I will be bringing
the First Grandchild into the world.
We want our Child to grow in a Christian atmosphere. We want our Child to attend christian schools and get to know the Lord like I do. But We both fear the my Mil will try to teach our Children UnGodly ways of life.
I want our Children to know my Husbands mom but I also want to keep our Child away from my MIL's idea's that it's Ok to drink and smoke and that sex is Ok and were meant to be sexual beings as what she told me as I started dating her son.
How can I instill the Christian lifestyle into my children, while at the same time maintaining a healthy relationship with my MIL?I need advice on how to Maintain a Christian Family while having Atheist In laws? Help?
You have the right to raise your child the way you want. So set in motion the life you want for your child and if your MIL crosses the line set up appropriate boundaries.I need advice on how to Maintain a Christian Family while having Atheist In laws? Help?
it's simple
you control the visits and supervise them as well
but your lifestyle and beliefs will hold him on the the straight and narrow
but you never truly have a good relationship with you MIL so as long as she sees you as the one who took her son away and converted him
so why even bother
You sound like a typical, judgemental Christian.
It is pointless giving you a real answer, since your mind is obviously so closed. I only hope your kid grows up and realizes that his mother is an ignorant, judgemental woman. One day, he will, believe me.
what inthe world makes you think God would ever condone coming between a child and its grandparents? that isnt my kind of christianity and isn't the kind taught in the bible.
you got a lot of growing up to do young lady.
Why don't you seal them up in plastic wrap to keep them from all ';ungodly'; influences? People like you disgust me.
I see you and your husband have been married less than a year. Don't worry, he'll wise up.
I'm Atheist and I wouldnt worry about her teaching the child ';ungodly ways';. My step daughter is christian, and I support her beliefs. If your Mother In Law has respect for her son then she will support your childs beliefs.
You keep to your views, opinions, faith in God, this is who you are..keep to that, don't ever compromise. If your MIL doesn't understand, then she is losing a big opportunity to be with family.
minimize her influence over the child. When she visits give her the rules. be direct with her when she's around. Don't use her to baby sit find a christian so she won't undo what you are sowing
Sure, raise them in total ignorance; that's just what ';God'; would want.
I feel sorry for the kid, having such a mother as you.
You have to raise your child the way you want them to be
Children are not our possessions or captives. If you love your child you will help him or her to explore the world, learn to think critically, and reach his or her own conclusions. If you are confident in your own beliefs you must surely be confident in their capacity to convince others - without exclusive brain washing. I grew up as an atheist, with Sunday School friends, a father with unbounded curiosity and an open mind, and a mother from a family of former regular church-goers who eventually lapsed into a kind of superstitious belief in a God nobody understood or could speak for. It did me no harm. Have faith in your children, more than your need to reinforce your own beliefs for your own comfort. There are plenty of good human beings who are not Christians. The ethics inherent in Christianity (and many other religions) are more firmly supported by internal reflection and observation, than merely by external doctrine. Surely to presume you know exclusively about God etc is a form of excessive pride or hubris?
This is hindsight, but you knew this before you got married. Did you both discuss this beforehand %26amp; decide on ground rules? In instances on child rearing, no matter what the problems with the inlaws are, it's what the parents of the children say goes. Your inlaws are not the parents. You %26amp; you husband are. Since they are his parents he is the one who needs to have a frank, but respectful discussion with them and tell him what the deal is - and they can either respect that or time with the children will be limited. My personal spin on this is that you are the one with an ';attitude'; that needs a little adjustment. I know some Atheists %26amp; none of them are as ';evil'; as you portray them to be. What is wrong morally with smoking %26amp; drinking as long as it is in moderation? Yes it's dangerous to the health but Ungodly? Sounds like you are holier than thou. And what the heck are you talking about that humans are not sexual beings? You are pregnant, so you had sex. What Christian faith do you believe in? I've never heard of any sect that teaches that stuff. You keep shoving you own beliefs down people's throats %26amp; acting superior someone's gonna put you in your place, hard. I think your MIL is right, you might be brainwashing. BTW, some of the biggest hypocrits I've ever encountered are the people yelling ';Christian'; ';Christian'; ';Christian';. They act like they are the only good people on earth. That is so insulting to people of other faiths. Shabara actually said it much more delicately as I did, though. My bad.
I think it is your right to politely have a talk with your in laws to avoid religious discussions with your child (aka they shouldn't be telling your five year old that God doesn't exist) until he is old enough to understand their lack of beliefs (maybe after age 13?). The only catch to this though is, if your child ever ASKS their opinion, I do think they have the right to tell the truth about what they believe, it's not right to condemn their ideas...I just don't think they should be actively pushing your child to not believe in things when he/she is too young. I don't think that you should limit time your child spends with them, that would probably hurt your in laws and no matter what they think, they still love your child and they should be able to see him/her. I also don't think you should villanize the in laws in anyway, it will just create a rift in the family that is not needed.
In the end, no child goes through life without seeing or hearing things that maybe he/she shouldn't and will also witness and experience things that go against the fundamental beliefs of their parents. But, if their parents give them a strong basis, in the end that is all that will matter. You cannot ensure that your child will forever be a Christian, but you can ensure that if you teach him/her how to live with peace, love, dignity, and strength of character that he or she will grow to be a good person, and in the end that is probably the most you could ever ask for.
I'm married to a Russian man and honestly...I don't think your marriage will last. Sorry if that is rude but in order to be with a man from another culture you have to have an OPEN mind. You are extreme Christian who is narrow minded...therefore i don't think your marriage will last. The reason is you're too extreme Christian for any Russian man to be with. Russia has a history of no religion due to communism and I do not see how someone that is as extreme Christian as you can be compatible with a Russian male. It's so strange it's laughable but good luck to you though.
btw, my father in law is atheist and he's a very kind caring grandfather to our son....that's why I don't understand your question. I think I don't understand your question because I am OPEN minded, accept Russian culture. you really should think about opening your mind if you want your marriage to last. seriously if you want to be extreme and accepting of only your things you should have married a man from your small town, some American guy from your church that was named like John Smith or something. lol.
Children grow up by example. They learn by how you act. Yes mother in law may teach them things that you don't agree with and teach them the stuff that would cause them to stray, but they would also learn the same thing in highschool and even middleschool. Even christian schools. A growing human is naturally curious about EVERYTHING. If you act in a certain way that'll be one of the ways your children will more easily resort to because that's what they know how to do. Teach them by giving them knowledge about what is bad so they know how to go against peer pressure whether it be best friend boyfriend girlfriend or mother in law pressuring them. You can't shelter them from the world. One main thing you should teach them is that this world and the material things in it are only temporary.
No matter how different the grandparent's viewpoint is, no grandchild should be kept from his or her grandparent. Both are valuable to each other. The only solution I can see is that the grandmother is free to visit the grandchild as often as she pleases....as long as you and your husband are there. Make this very clear to her. If she can't respect your decision, then it will be her loss. NEVER EVER tell her she can't see her grandbaby. Just make it extremely clear under what circumstances it will happen, though, and let the outcome be in her control. If she truly loves your baby, she will accept this. Good luck! It sounds like you and your husband will be WONDERFUL parents! =)
I need advice about my 3 yr old... Christian parents pls.?
I have two toddlers one 3 and the other 2. My 3 yr old is loud, aggressive and impatient. Now my 2 year old was more of the quite type. Now I can see my 2 yr old imitating his 3yr old brother.
I can't control my 3 yr old. He is not scare of the consequences.
I really want some one's advice from the Christian point of view. I really want to be a godly mother but I loss it all the time. I always end up screaming and then felling guilty for not been patient. I love my babies with all of my heart. I want the best for them. I really want my 3 yr old to be a good example for his younger brother.I need advice about my 3 yr old... Christian parents pls.?
You just have to be super consistant. My son was also very aggresive, and i completly understand where you are coming from. He needs consistant consequences. My son does really good with the count down. I will give him 5 seconds to stop what he is doing or he goes in the corner. He is almost 3 so he stands in the corner for 2 1/2 minutes. I'm not saying i have it all figured out because at times i also struggle, but my son has greatly improved. Just be consistant and stick by what you say. If you say no, never change it to yes. Good luck and God Bless.I need advice about my 3 yr old... Christian parents pls.?
Well how about consulting the pastor at your church. most offer classes for parents, and kids to help learn new skills. if the church can't help you i am sure your pastor can refer you and your family to the right people that can help. If you don't want to do that you can always aproach your family doctor %26amp; explain the problems, they are there for more than just medical reasons. those are the most solid two suggestions i can offer. everyone has problems like this so you are not alone.
There really is no Christian point of view here. It's just about virtues, and teaching patience.
Just teach them temperance, so that their result would be much better.
But in the Christian view closest to this, it would be that aggression would make you lose control and might cause you to sin.
my boys r 14 months apart.they r 7 and 6 now. when they were at that age they fought all the time. they fought so bad they started to bite each other when they got mad. I tried every thing to stop them from biting. If you find you r getting mad walk away get your self together, then try different ways of discipline till something works. you have to show them authority and there r consequences for their actions.
there is a TV show called ';the Nanny';. she has some good discipline ideas.
Whenever your child does something wrong, have them go to a time out. Keep them there for how old they are. (like, for your 3 year old, keep them in time out for 3 minutes) Start the countdown after they stop crying. And give them rewards for being good. That's what my family does. And that seems like the Christian thing to do. Not bad for an atheist, eh?
Perhaps you aren't spending enough time doing what the 3 year old wants. Taking the kid with you on errands isn't enough ';me'; time with the kid. Try sitting down and playing with blocks or perhaps a puzzle or even reading some books. Or anything the child wants to do.
i may not be a parent, but i was raised in a good way (well, from most point of view anyway). i often ask my mom if we were annoying little kids, especially in the church, but my mom says we were quiet and sat patiently.
i think there are two things you need to do:
1. good and strict school environment (he must be going to pre-school next year)
2. good discipline. it's okay to scold at your children once in awhile. it makes them feel they have done something wrong; but don't worry that's just the first normal reaction. when you go to comfort them after, you are given a chance to let them understand why you scolded at them.
tell them, that being at their best behavior is something good that God recognizes and they will go to heaven. I'm not really sure what to say, but that sounds logical.
just reinforce this teachings through reward systems such as praises when they behave good.
3 yr olds are handfuls regardless. Often at this age, distraction works better then punishment. When you find yourself getting really frustrated, before you yell try a 'distract', like filling up the kitchen sink with water and some cups and put a little food coloring in it. It will buy you enough time to cool off and they'll forget what they were doing that was causing issues. ';Playing pool'; with swimsuits and bathtub works too. I've even gone as far as let them body paint with finger paints (it's messy, but it works). If the 3 yr old isn't scared of consequences for whatever reason, try and see if you were doing what I was and threatening alot and never following trough, or trying time out and eventually giving up because the kid won't stay in the corner. If either of these are something you're doing, if you can change it so you follow through, it takes a week or 2, but the difference is amazing and less stressful on everyone (especially you). If these don't work there is an awesome organization http://www.parentsasteachers.org they are huge helps!
My daughter is VERY stoubern (SP) she has been since she was two....before that she was an absolute Joy to be around. It is really a matter of finding what works....it seemed that no one thing would get my daughters attention when she was in trouble....so we had to mix it up.....I think it was the ';ok what's gonna happen now'; that finally got her to be better. Now I'm not big on spanking....I think it should be reserved for more serious things....so it really depends on your personal preference.....My pastor thinks you should spank for every issue....so what I did was for fits, she would have to stand in the corner and hold still till either she stoped crying, or if she wasn't crying how ever old she was at the time was how long she stood there...(EX 3years=3 min) I have taken away all of her toys when she refused to pick them up.....it really just depends on what you see fit as punishment.....you are the adult and God gave you them to care for...he will never give you more than you can handle...even though with kids sometimes it sure can feel that way.....I ust kept telling myself ';this too shall pass'; and it did, my daughter is now almost 5 and hardly in trouble at all....though we are working more on her listining skills...but that is a sinch compaired to the 2, 3 and most of 4 issues. Good luck to you!
The only suggestions I have for you are to read a book called The Way of the Wild Heart. It is by a Christian author and he tells what boys really need. The other is that the whole spare the rod spoil the child thing in the Bible is misinterpreted. They were talking about a shepherds crook. The shepherd didn't hit the sheep with it, but gently guided them with it. I have a little boy too, so I know they can be a challenge!!
i started very young with my children a 3 second countdown whenever they were misbehaving. If after 3 seconds that hadn't stopped doing whatever started the countdown I show/explain the proper behavior then send them to time-out (until the tears stop, if any, otherwise a minute or 2). Always make sure first though that the kid's basic needs are met...i.e. he's not crying out of hunger or boredom. I have been very consistent with this and about 90% of the time I start countdown behavior is self-corrected before I even get to 2
Children respond better to praise than punishment. They don't understand yelling -yelling can be labled mental abuse(this does give most parents the insentive to stop when they hear it put that way).
You will need to come down to their level in height and speak with them, let them tell you how they feel. Most children who are aggressive are doing so b.c they feel they arent being heard. They feel you are too busy or that if they tell you they feel sad, angry, or annoyed, you will punish them. You'll need to create an environment where your children feel that you are the person they can go to when they are in trouble. They love you but don't need to fear you. You want their respect and you will obtain that by giving tons of hugs and spending a lot of time with them just playing and talking. We think of children as little kids who don't have thoughts..but they do..hey are just lil ppl like us..So you have to imagine being in a situation where you are unable to express your emotions....it's hard for kids b.c they don't know the healthy way to express anger or frusteration. They need to know it's okay to feel it but not act on it-that they can come to you to talk about it and then maybe you can show them ways to end it- like playing soccer-kicking the ball, listening to music, or imagining their problem and physically blowing that image away. Kids have great imaginations!
you may also benifit from starting a token economy. Charts with their name son it-giv ethem a sticker every time they do something well. at the end they get to collect a reward. Kids eat this up!
Both animals and children have been proven to respond quicker and easier to rewards and soft speech than punishment and loud speech. arewards can have immidiate responces in behaviour- like you'd see a change within a few hours or tow days at the most! punishment ppl barely ever see a change unless it is fear.
gl!
The reason you can't control the three year old is because you haven't disciplined him. The two year old is being a normal two year old (ever hear of ';the terrible twos';) and is behavin guite normally for his age. He too needs discipline. By the way discipline doesn't mean hitting, it means guiding, teaching, redirecting, praising the postive behavior and playing down the negative behavior. Stop expecting your 3 year old to ';be a good example for his younger brother'; he is NOT responsible for his younger brother YOU are. YOU need to do YOUR job as a parent rather than expecting your 3 year old to do it. But you don't have to take my advice...I have only had three children, I come from a family of 7 children my late husband was from a family of 12 children and we were all raised bascially the same way. Our parents did THEIR jobs of parenting rather than leaving it up to the older siblings. And then too I'm not a Christian. But my family is Catholic.
I can't control my 3 yr old. He is not scare of the consequences.
I really want some one's advice from the Christian point of view. I really want to be a godly mother but I loss it all the time. I always end up screaming and then felling guilty for not been patient. I love my babies with all of my heart. I want the best for them. I really want my 3 yr old to be a good example for his younger brother.I need advice about my 3 yr old... Christian parents pls.?
You just have to be super consistant. My son was also very aggresive, and i completly understand where you are coming from. He needs consistant consequences. My son does really good with the count down. I will give him 5 seconds to stop what he is doing or he goes in the corner. He is almost 3 so he stands in the corner for 2 1/2 minutes. I'm not saying i have it all figured out because at times i also struggle, but my son has greatly improved. Just be consistant and stick by what you say. If you say no, never change it to yes. Good luck and God Bless.I need advice about my 3 yr old... Christian parents pls.?
Well how about consulting the pastor at your church. most offer classes for parents, and kids to help learn new skills. if the church can't help you i am sure your pastor can refer you and your family to the right people that can help. If you don't want to do that you can always aproach your family doctor %26amp; explain the problems, they are there for more than just medical reasons. those are the most solid two suggestions i can offer. everyone has problems like this so you are not alone.
There really is no Christian point of view here. It's just about virtues, and teaching patience.
Just teach them temperance, so that their result would be much better.
But in the Christian view closest to this, it would be that aggression would make you lose control and might cause you to sin.
my boys r 14 months apart.they r 7 and 6 now. when they were at that age they fought all the time. they fought so bad they started to bite each other when they got mad. I tried every thing to stop them from biting. If you find you r getting mad walk away get your self together, then try different ways of discipline till something works. you have to show them authority and there r consequences for their actions.
there is a TV show called ';the Nanny';. she has some good discipline ideas.
Whenever your child does something wrong, have them go to a time out. Keep them there for how old they are. (like, for your 3 year old, keep them in time out for 3 minutes) Start the countdown after they stop crying. And give them rewards for being good. That's what my family does. And that seems like the Christian thing to do. Not bad for an atheist, eh?
Perhaps you aren't spending enough time doing what the 3 year old wants. Taking the kid with you on errands isn't enough ';me'; time with the kid. Try sitting down and playing with blocks or perhaps a puzzle or even reading some books. Or anything the child wants to do.
i may not be a parent, but i was raised in a good way (well, from most point of view anyway). i often ask my mom if we were annoying little kids, especially in the church, but my mom says we were quiet and sat patiently.
i think there are two things you need to do:
1. good and strict school environment (he must be going to pre-school next year)
2. good discipline. it's okay to scold at your children once in awhile. it makes them feel they have done something wrong; but don't worry that's just the first normal reaction. when you go to comfort them after, you are given a chance to let them understand why you scolded at them.
tell them, that being at their best behavior is something good that God recognizes and they will go to heaven. I'm not really sure what to say, but that sounds logical.
just reinforce this teachings through reward systems such as praises when they behave good.
3 yr olds are handfuls regardless. Often at this age, distraction works better then punishment. When you find yourself getting really frustrated, before you yell try a 'distract', like filling up the kitchen sink with water and some cups and put a little food coloring in it. It will buy you enough time to cool off and they'll forget what they were doing that was causing issues. ';Playing pool'; with swimsuits and bathtub works too. I've even gone as far as let them body paint with finger paints (it's messy, but it works). If the 3 yr old isn't scared of consequences for whatever reason, try and see if you were doing what I was and threatening alot and never following trough, or trying time out and eventually giving up because the kid won't stay in the corner. If either of these are something you're doing, if you can change it so you follow through, it takes a week or 2, but the difference is amazing and less stressful on everyone (especially you). If these don't work there is an awesome organization http://www.parentsasteachers.org they are huge helps!
My daughter is VERY stoubern (SP) she has been since she was two....before that she was an absolute Joy to be around. It is really a matter of finding what works....it seemed that no one thing would get my daughters attention when she was in trouble....so we had to mix it up.....I think it was the ';ok what's gonna happen now'; that finally got her to be better. Now I'm not big on spanking....I think it should be reserved for more serious things....so it really depends on your personal preference.....My pastor thinks you should spank for every issue....so what I did was for fits, she would have to stand in the corner and hold still till either she stoped crying, or if she wasn't crying how ever old she was at the time was how long she stood there...(EX 3years=3 min) I have taken away all of her toys when she refused to pick them up.....it really just depends on what you see fit as punishment.....you are the adult and God gave you them to care for...he will never give you more than you can handle...even though with kids sometimes it sure can feel that way.....I ust kept telling myself ';this too shall pass'; and it did, my daughter is now almost 5 and hardly in trouble at all....though we are working more on her listining skills...but that is a sinch compaired to the 2, 3 and most of 4 issues. Good luck to you!
The only suggestions I have for you are to read a book called The Way of the Wild Heart. It is by a Christian author and he tells what boys really need. The other is that the whole spare the rod spoil the child thing in the Bible is misinterpreted. They were talking about a shepherds crook. The shepherd didn't hit the sheep with it, but gently guided them with it. I have a little boy too, so I know they can be a challenge!!
i started very young with my children a 3 second countdown whenever they were misbehaving. If after 3 seconds that hadn't stopped doing whatever started the countdown I show/explain the proper behavior then send them to time-out (until the tears stop, if any, otherwise a minute or 2). Always make sure first though that the kid's basic needs are met...i.e. he's not crying out of hunger or boredom. I have been very consistent with this and about 90% of the time I start countdown behavior is self-corrected before I even get to 2
Children respond better to praise than punishment. They don't understand yelling -yelling can be labled mental abuse(this does give most parents the insentive to stop when they hear it put that way).
You will need to come down to their level in height and speak with them, let them tell you how they feel. Most children who are aggressive are doing so b.c they feel they arent being heard. They feel you are too busy or that if they tell you they feel sad, angry, or annoyed, you will punish them. You'll need to create an environment where your children feel that you are the person they can go to when they are in trouble. They love you but don't need to fear you. You want their respect and you will obtain that by giving tons of hugs and spending a lot of time with them just playing and talking. We think of children as little kids who don't have thoughts..but they do..hey are just lil ppl like us..So you have to imagine being in a situation where you are unable to express your emotions....it's hard for kids b.c they don't know the healthy way to express anger or frusteration. They need to know it's okay to feel it but not act on it-that they can come to you to talk about it and then maybe you can show them ways to end it- like playing soccer-kicking the ball, listening to music, or imagining their problem and physically blowing that image away. Kids have great imaginations!
you may also benifit from starting a token economy. Charts with their name son it-giv ethem a sticker every time they do something well. at the end they get to collect a reward. Kids eat this up!
Both animals and children have been proven to respond quicker and easier to rewards and soft speech than punishment and loud speech. arewards can have immidiate responces in behaviour- like you'd see a change within a few hours or tow days at the most! punishment ppl barely ever see a change unless it is fear.
gl!
The reason you can't control the three year old is because you haven't disciplined him. The two year old is being a normal two year old (ever hear of ';the terrible twos';) and is behavin guite normally for his age. He too needs discipline. By the way discipline doesn't mean hitting, it means guiding, teaching, redirecting, praising the postive behavior and playing down the negative behavior. Stop expecting your 3 year old to ';be a good example for his younger brother'; he is NOT responsible for his younger brother YOU are. YOU need to do YOUR job as a parent rather than expecting your 3 year old to do it. But you don't have to take my advice...I have only had three children, I come from a family of 7 children my late husband was from a family of 12 children and we were all raised bascially the same way. Our parents did THEIR jobs of parenting rather than leaving it up to the older siblings. And then too I'm not a Christian. But my family is Catholic.
Christian fundie and right wing nut job advice and-or thoughts?
My neighbor is really annoying he's a christian fundie/right wing nut job who thinks he is right about everything.
He always tries to shove his religious and political views down every-ones throat and when he gets into an argument with someone he almost immediately says ''no no'' ''even the bible says'' to prove that he is right about all of his views.
Once he quotes the bible he thinks he won the argument.
He hates everyone who is not a conservative and hates catholics, muslims, atheists, and every other religion that is not a denomination of christianity
He ALWAYS preaches his beliefs to me and my friends and family members, and cannot hold a conversation without mentioning god or jesus, no matter what the subject is. I myself being atheist (which he is not aware of. He thinks I am still a christian) am starting to get very irritated.
What do you guys think?Christian fundie and right wing nut job advice and-or thoughts?
Have you tried talking to him instead of complaining about it online to a bunch of strangers?Christian fundie and right wing nut job advice and-or thoughts?
I am a Christian, and I can tell you right now, that guy is one lousy bastard hypocrite who tries to paint himself as a saint when he isn't. Trust me, the guy is not a true christian, just another confused weirdo.
People like that are impenetrable to reason. Best to just completely ignore him. If he speaks to you, be cordial, say hi and bye. When he starts talking politics and religion, just walk away.
As I do not know the gentleman... if he is indeed a True Christian then He is right about that... but he is going about sharing in all the wrong ways... just ignore him if you wish... The Word and Will of God may not be imposed upon any one...
politically I for sure do not know his pov... but any thing is better than the fascist / liberal so-called progressive, anti American, treasonous bas****s trying to take over now.
ignore that fact at your peril
impeach the obamanation NOW
I think that you are probably just as annoying as the fundie ';right wing nut job.'; Kinda like how Bill Maher is incredibly insufferable and annoying.
I'd tell him point blank that his attitude is driving people away from Christ, even you. In fact, after looking at his lifestyle, which doesn't represent Christ's love, you're strongly considering becoming an atheist.
All I know as a christian is that Jesus uses love not force! This is what's hard about peoples different beliefs, because he may be the only christian you know %26amp; now what is your opinion?
I would avoid this person. But I would always keep my temper cool. Because if you explode on him all he'll do is use it as proof that you are all devilicious.
I think you should stop worrying about your neighbor. What's it to ya? Look at the guy in the mirror and start dealing with him.
I think you ought to tell him your an atheist and that he is an arrogant asshole.
Just tell him politely that you do not wish to hear his rantings and ravings.
Shove a wad of Bible pages down his throat.
I think your troll score is about 2/10
I think you should just not talk to him...
He sounds like a nice guy and typical Christian and I assure you, I am a faithful believer and worship with Christians every Sunday. I never call myself a Christian because Christians rarely mature into Ambassadors. If you notice, very few Christians will evr give up living naturally in the United States to live supernaturally in the Kingdom of Christ. An Ambassador will tell you why you should never away from the altar or cross of Christ because you have to turn your back on His Kingdom to do that. Most Christians actually impede family, friends, and neighbors from thinking about or entering the invisible Kingdom. God bless you. One of the best reasons to consider faith in Christ is the fun it affords. I love to speak from with in the Kingdom and challenge Christians. Because I worship with them, I know they never grow or go pass the foot of the cross. Christians live natural on the earthly side and that's why I separate myself from them. In the world of faith, I love Christians and all people but I have yet to meet one Christian that understands that it is more important to lead someone into the Kingdom than to beat them over the head with Scripture and church talk.
He always tries to shove his religious and political views down every-ones throat and when he gets into an argument with someone he almost immediately says ''no no'' ''even the bible says'' to prove that he is right about all of his views.
Once he quotes the bible he thinks he won the argument.
He hates everyone who is not a conservative and hates catholics, muslims, atheists, and every other religion that is not a denomination of christianity
He ALWAYS preaches his beliefs to me and my friends and family members, and cannot hold a conversation without mentioning god or jesus, no matter what the subject is. I myself being atheist (which he is not aware of. He thinks I am still a christian) am starting to get very irritated.
What do you guys think?Christian fundie and right wing nut job advice and-or thoughts?
Have you tried talking to him instead of complaining about it online to a bunch of strangers?Christian fundie and right wing nut job advice and-or thoughts?
I am a Christian, and I can tell you right now, that guy is one lousy bastard hypocrite who tries to paint himself as a saint when he isn't. Trust me, the guy is not a true christian, just another confused weirdo.
People like that are impenetrable to reason. Best to just completely ignore him. If he speaks to you, be cordial, say hi and bye. When he starts talking politics and religion, just walk away.
As I do not know the gentleman... if he is indeed a True Christian then He is right about that... but he is going about sharing in all the wrong ways... just ignore him if you wish... The Word and Will of God may not be imposed upon any one...
politically I for sure do not know his pov... but any thing is better than the fascist / liberal so-called progressive, anti American, treasonous bas****s trying to take over now.
ignore that fact at your peril
impeach the obamanation NOW
I think that you are probably just as annoying as the fundie ';right wing nut job.'; Kinda like how Bill Maher is incredibly insufferable and annoying.
I'd tell him point blank that his attitude is driving people away from Christ, even you. In fact, after looking at his lifestyle, which doesn't represent Christ's love, you're strongly considering becoming an atheist.
All I know as a christian is that Jesus uses love not force! This is what's hard about peoples different beliefs, because he may be the only christian you know %26amp; now what is your opinion?
I would avoid this person. But I would always keep my temper cool. Because if you explode on him all he'll do is use it as proof that you are all devilicious.
I think you should stop worrying about your neighbor. What's it to ya? Look at the guy in the mirror and start dealing with him.
I think you ought to tell him your an atheist and that he is an arrogant asshole.
Just tell him politely that you do not wish to hear his rantings and ravings.
Shove a wad of Bible pages down his throat.
I think your troll score is about 2/10
I think you should just not talk to him...
He sounds like a nice guy and typical Christian and I assure you, I am a faithful believer and worship with Christians every Sunday. I never call myself a Christian because Christians rarely mature into Ambassadors. If you notice, very few Christians will evr give up living naturally in the United States to live supernaturally in the Kingdom of Christ. An Ambassador will tell you why you should never away from the altar or cross of Christ because you have to turn your back on His Kingdom to do that. Most Christians actually impede family, friends, and neighbors from thinking about or entering the invisible Kingdom. God bless you. One of the best reasons to consider faith in Christ is the fun it affords. I love to speak from with in the Kingdom and challenge Christians. Because I worship with them, I know they never grow or go pass the foot of the cross. Christians live natural on the earthly side and that's why I separate myself from them. In the world of faith, I love Christians and all people but I have yet to meet one Christian that understands that it is more important to lead someone into the Kingdom than to beat them over the head with Scripture and church talk.
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