He has left you. He has broken his vows to love you and protect you, etc. He is now the danger you are to look out for.
You are alone.
You have made every effort.
Is this minister of yours looking forward to the service of burial for your body when this guy ups the abuse to death for you?
Porn is unfaithfulness. Does your minister look at porn? I would think he does if it's debatable . Does he abuse his family? I would think so if it is to be tolerated in anyone in his opinion
Time to leave this church and save yourself and the children.
Children you say...? Yes, because they are next. If you stay you teach them it's ok to be abused. Is that the lesson in life you want for them?Married non-Christian (I wasn't either at the time) have converted, having problems, need advice?
The apostle Paul says that if you have a husband/wife who doesn't bother you for you being christian, it's okay. Don't leave him/her; but if he makes you depart from the Lord, leave him. The Lord is the number 1. It's what the bible says. Check in Mathew and 1ºCo 7.
Back in the day when there were cavemen there was no such thing as marriage or divorce....People just f***ed eachothers brains out and reproduced like rabbits.
Were they sinning then?
Are you sinning now if you divorce your husband?
(well...I don't BELIEVE in sin...But don't you think God who you see as being an all knowing perfect and kind heart being would understand your situation? There...Case closed)
I think that only you should be the one in control of your life. No minister, no husband, no friends...nobody but you. It's a matter of what you believe in and what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do.
Having an abusive husband doesn't just harm you, it harms your children and while being a single mother is not easy it may be for the best. Remember, its not just you you should be thinking of now.
Sounds as though you could probably do better. And he certainly could.
You trapped yourself in this, and now you've locked the door yourself! You need a parent, not a husband.
Just dump the church and the guy. Later you could always go back or join a different church. No one or no thing should be that controlling. God will forgive. Sorry if this doesn't help.
I don't know. God has the ultimate advice. Pray and ask Him(:
contact new life (a Chrsitian counseling service), back when I could hear them on the radio they discussed issues like this.
http://www.newlife.com
Dump his ***. He's a jerk.
It's your life. Control it...
Make a decision and go through with it. If your religion doesn't allow you to divorce and you want to abide by that, then you're stuck. Make the best of it... it's one of the problems with a religious dogma...
As far as your yoked thing, you changed since your marriage. Your husband is still the same. Again, it was your choice... My wife and I have been unequally yoked for over 35 happy years and have two great grown children...
Happy New Year...
I am a devout Christian... and I completely and utterly disagree with your minister. Frankly, I think you would serve yourself best by finding a church that does not support abusive husbands. The fact is that abusive people very, very rarely change. There is likely nothing you can do to change him, leaving you with two options: leave or be a victim. The Bible also says that a man should give himself to his wife like Christ did to the Church. If your unbelieving husband is abusing and/or controlling you, then it seems to me like he DID leave your marriage already. Marriage is a loving covenant between two people, and he has already broken the covenant. Your marriage is already over, because he has skipped out on his end of the deal. The divorce will just make it legal. My advice? Get professional counseling outside your church, call an attorney, and consider finding yourself a more reasonable, more supportive church.
Good luck and God bless!
First of all, like so many people, including Ministers, they do not read the “entire” scripture or are only emphasizing one aspect of it.
The Bible never say’s that it is a “sin” to divorce. The part that it talks about that it is a sin unless for the reason of Adultery, is because divorce tears apart the commitment and trust of the marriage. However, the tearing apart of the commitment and trust, can also happen in many other ways. Physical abuse to you and other your kids. Incest or something you mentioned which was porn.
In other words, you can put all of these other things under the “label” of Adultery.
The Bible isn’t going to sit there and list everything that would be equal to Adultery, because there would be too many things to mention down through the ages.
What was the Bible going to say, “Thou shalt not lust to Internet Porn when it is invented around the late 1990’s”.
Also, if you truly want to stick to the “except for adultery” as in your husband sleeping with another woman, remember this, the Bible does not say that the “committing adultery” part has to happen within the bounds of the marriage.
God does not look at that piece of paper of being married as the only boundaries for committing adultery and or fornication. If he did, then why would he say to the woman at the well that you have had five husbands? It wasn’t that she had “five husband by Law”, she had “sex” with five guys which in God’s eye’s constituted a “marriage” and in turn “adultery”.
If you divorce your husband, wait until you know or at least a year or so, that you’re Ex has gotten hooked up with someone else and that he has most likely committed adultery with another woman. Then he ';has'; committed adultery to your marriage with him and then you are free to marry someone else.
This is what I did in my first marriage. My wife told me that she wanted a divorce and that she loved someone else. The physical proof of ';her adultery'; did not happen until about 3 months later when I knew they were living together. Even more proof came when she had a baby from him 8 months later.
So, first of all pray for the marriage, seek outside counseling from a different church that will help you and then if you feel you need to divorce him, then do it.
Then devote your life to the Lord, your kids and a career and wait for God’s guidance. God will show you when it is okay to remarry someone else, if that is what you want.
It is written to not divorce unless the unbeliever can't stand to live with the believer anymore. Let the unbeliever go.
Grounds for divorce is adulterer or physical abuse. Not so much verbal abuse that many unbelieving spouses do.
When I first recommitted to Christ, my husband started getting physically abusive. So I nipped it in the bud %26amp; called 911 when he slapped my face as I was looking at the phone.
That was the end of that.
But he is an alcoholic so is my worst persecutor when he is drunk, regarding my faith in Jesus Christ. So? I have learned to depend on Jesus %26amp; trust that what Gods Word says about me is to be believed above what negative comments come from my husband.
And I have prayed about this with others. The Pastor preached on it then. And so? My husband hasn't had an affair %26amp; doesn't physically abuse me. He does harass me with sleep deprivation by playing ungodly music loudly when I try to sleep. But he is much nicer today than when I first recommitted to Jesus Christ. And we have had some real quality times together (when he quit drinking for a while). So I can't let those horrible drunk times destroy the quality times we have shared in the past.
I stay with Him because the Lord leads me to. But if the Lord told me to leave, I would. So this would be a personal decision in any Christians life. But it is good to pray with others about it to have clear direction.
I would need to know if your willing to go against what your Church has told you if your religion wasn't a factor in your decision making I would say it sounds like you would have left. Aside from what your Church teaches, you need to do whats best for you and your children it may not be to stay with him. Ultimately its up to you God will not hold yours or your children's welfare against you. The people who run your Church may tho.
tell your equally controlling preacher to go f**k himself, get your kids and any money you can, get the hell out before he kills you. Go to the Salvation army or a police station and ask for the address of a women's shelter. Do not contact any members of your church. they will only tell your husband where you are. then, find a new church where women are treated like people, not property
Only God can turn this around. You need to commit to a season of praying for him. Love him unconditionally. Fast meals ...even if it has to do with feeding everyone but yourself.....There was a story of a man who was in his lower 50's - not saved - and his wife was saved %26amp; at one point - he refused to let her go out of the house to go to church - he told her - if you go out to church - I will lock and bolt the door.....she went anyway - later when she got back home - the doors werre bolted - she slept outside the door in a foyer.....when he opened the door the next morning - she greeted him with a warm smile %26amp; a hello %26amp; made his favorite breakfast...later on - he wound up going to church %26amp; getting saved - his name was Smith Wigglesworth-who wound up being a very powerful man of God....
Have both of you seen the movie Fireproof - it's about relationships - try having him watch that after you've prayed for him about this...it's changed some people after watching it....
your minster is wrong leave him seek another church. Like catholic church that's where I go I had a bad marriage in the passed a priest helped me I know a lot of people frown on catholic church but I learned differently about it I realized it is the true church and it has changed my life and my children too. good luck but I would leave him for sure.Even if I just stopped going to church is better then how you are living now. I will say a prayer for you.PS I am remarried now and very happy
Pornography is lust. Lust is adultery, and therefore is legitimate in God's eyes for divorce. But I wouldn't suggest divorce.
Constantly pray for him and show him the love of God through your actions. Also, try to get your children involved with God. He is more likely to convert if he sees three lives changed instead of just yours.
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