I have a good friend that knows the bible left and right and KNOWS who God is. We both were abstained from sex for quite a while-- because we didnt have boyfriends. Now that we both have boyfriends- she says that the bible says its NOT a sin AGAINST GOD to have sex outside of marriage, and only a sin against our own body. She says its normal now because our boyfriends love us and its hard to not have sex . Is she right? She says she knows its wrong but well never get boyfriends that dont believe otherwise. Im starting to believe her.....do you think shes right? I mean does God see this as sin against HIM or not?
BTW- we are 25 and we're not ready to get married until few more yearsChristian advice about sex and marriage ?
You already know... You are asking for confirmation for something the Holy Spirit is telling you loud and clear. Yes, sexual immorality (by GOD'S standards--not ours) is a sin against Him. As the other members wrote--your friend is rationalizing.
Remind her (and yourself) that what she thinks, says and/or believes does not change the truth of God's word. (The facts of her life have changes but the truth remains the same.)
Our bodies are NOT our own but belong to Christ--we are ALL part of one body--the church which IS the body of Christ on Earth. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit... (sigh) She knows this but it's inconvenient for her now.
';12 Everything is permissible for me';鈥攂ut not everything is beneficial. ';Everything is permissible for me';鈥攂ut I will not be mastered by anything. 13 ';Food for the stomach and the stomach for food';鈥攂ut God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ';The two will become one flesh.'; 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.';
';18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.';
[1 Corinthians 6:12-20 NIV]
Sounds as though you have been close friends for a long time. I pray that you are close enough that you have been honest with each other. Her emotions and hormones are talking louder than her desire to be holy. Unfortunately, many of us redefine our values and even holiness--some in ignorance--some as a convenience. Many of us have made this mistake when young and/or ';in love.'; Give her the scripture--maybe in a short friendship letter. Then pray for her or with her. By arguing scripture, no one wins and it will not do your friendship any good.
NO, DON'T START TO BELIEVE HER. Satan's whispering now in her ears AND yours. Don't listen and don't give up and cave in under peer pressure. God's got a husband for you and when He brings you that husband you will have deep regret that you did not wait for him.
Honestly... Marriage makes a WORLD of difference! WAIT FOR THE BEST!
';5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.'; [Proverbs 3:5-6]
Blessings to you and your friend.
xChristian advice about sex and marriage ?
Along with all other kinds of sexual immorality, sex before marriage / premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes abstinence before marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations that God approves of (Hebrews 13:4).
Let me explain this is a way your friend may understand. If she is a Christian, her body is not her own anymore. It belongs to the Holy Spirit- so if she has sex before marriage, she is not sinning only against her own body- but the Lord's. Have her show you in scripture where it says that premarital sex is ok if you love the person. She will not find it. If she knows it is wrong, then how can she say it is not sin?
Sex outside of the marriage contract is still wrong. There is no way to sin against God, He is not subject to our whims or mistakes. All sin hurts us. It's not a question of breaking a rule or a commandment, sex outside of marriage ruins the future relationship for both parties. Thanks for asking though.
she is wrong to say that it is deffinatly against God wish and therefore a sin its much better to wait for marraige. yes it will harm you mentally if not physically to have sex outside marraige God knoes what is best for you.
No I don't think she's right. God doesn't approve of sex outside of marriage. As a Christian you can ask God to send the right person into your life who will believe the way God does about it. Don't settle for doing things that are sinful.
Let me be honest, I looked through the Bible for this and couldn't find any real evidence that pre-marital sex was a sin, but you should probably take a look for yourself and not take my word for it.
Rationalization...I tell you things change when you get banana %26amp; berries for breakfast the first time. Some exchange that wedding dress for a nurses outfit. Ask Jessica Simpson's dad, or maybe Britney Spear's pastor! On a separate note is their relationship solid?
she is wrong and just being fueled by her hormones. we should wait for marriage because sexual sin is an abomination before god.
All sex outside marriage is a sin. You can believe it or not.
God created man and woman to be one. ie. Married, outside that is outside the will of God... sin!
Yes!
Sounds like what many Christians do..interpret the bible to your liking
OK, the distinction between a sin against yourself and a sin against God is meaningless since God created us and desires only for us to do good. He created the universe and everything in it. Our lives are his creation, not our own. He created the rules of what is right and what is wrong, not man.
What I am getting at is that a sin against ourselves, against another, even miss-using the environment.. are all sins against him.
I can go on but suffice to say, your friend has not found a loophole by saying it is merely a sin against our own bodies. Sin is sin..it is the willful disobedience of God's rules.
2nd,
Claiming that you can't get a boyfriend unless you have sex with him is called ';situational ethics'; - meaning you change your sense of right and wrong based on the situation. This is not good. Being 25, I'm sure you can see a lot of places where allowing the situation to dictate your sense of morality of very wreckless. For most things in life..we have a game plan BEFORE we enter a new situation.. we don't let the situation choose our course of action (unless its an emergency, of course)
Therefore, the reasoning your friend is using is VERY shakey and ill-advised.
3rd: Love -- that word gets thrown around a lot. I love icecream, I love my dog, I love my wife, I love it when my boss tells me I do a good job. SO, what is even meant by that word now-a-days? How can you be SURE? Could the person mean ';love'; in a more modern way, like the way I love my dog, but then hit him when he rips up the couch?
IF, love is so important.. isn't that MORE of a reason to WAIT until you are sure.. until you have a made your vows in front of friends and family? It seems emotionally wreckless to claim Love is the key..but then give your heart away to someone before their is any formal committment. PERSONALLY, you wouldn't give your car away to someone unless a formal agreement is made (excahnge of cash is pretty formal..right) -- So why would you open your heart, mind, and body to someone with out something as safe as marriage to back it up? (I was not trying to insinuate that exchanging money makes it OK to have sex..just making a point about a ';formal'; agreement when things are important.)
4th: What man, who supposedly LOVES you, does not love your morals, your sense of ethics, your spirituality, the fact that you are so serious about the relationship that you don't want to complicate things with sex? Aren't they asking you to compromise your beliefs for THEIR pleasure..their satisfaction? Isn't that selfish?
IF, they truly loved you, then wouldn't they respect your beliefs..and actually encourage you to follow what you believe? Right? Therefore, it is selfishness to want you to do something with them that you don't think is right.
IF, you compromise yourself that early on in the relationship, HOW do you think that is going to play out if you end up getting married? - You're kind of setting the expectation that if they REALLY want something you'll cave in..right?
5th: I can literally go on and on.. I'm avoiding scripture, because I assume other Yahoo Answer R%26amp;S answerers will fill those in for me.
I'll end with some food for thought..
The radio program ';Point of View'; on WFCJ radio Dayton Ohio reported Dec 10, 2004 that teenager girls who have sex are 2x more likely to commit suicide than girls who practice abstinence and teenage boys who have sex are 7x more likely to commit suicide than boys who are sexually abstinent.
Columbia University found that 鈥榦nly 26 percent of women surveyed and a scant 19 percent of men' married the person they were living with.
Another study showed that even if they do marry, couples who begin their marriages through cohabitation are almost twice as likely to divorce within 10 years compared to all first marriages. .
The majority of domestic violence cases are between couples who are co-habitating. Therefore, women are less likely to be victims of assault if they don't live together before they marry. This is related to your post because obviously couples who live together are having sex.
http://www.leaderu.com/everystudent/sex/鈥?/a>
Also..who is thinking about the children. I don't have statistics for this, but I think we all realize that unwed pregnancys are on the rise. Adults are about as good at contraception as they are at making their beds or doing their taxes. So, more sex, DOES mean more children born to un-married, un-committed parents. I think we can all agree that having 2 committed parents who are married is better for the baby then 1 or 2 parents who live separately. THUS, who is looking out for the children's welfare in all this?
Lastly.. consider this logic.. IF a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter, CAN'T wait until marriage...what makes you so sure they will be able to ';hold off'; or ';wait'; AFTER they are married... as in, why will they suddenly be able to be hold firm when OTHER temptations come along? It seems less logical to give into those type of powerful emotions and then suddenly change as soon as you say ';I do';
Marriage ceremonies generally don't change people.
Show this scripture to your friend. She does not sound like she knows the Bible as well as you think she does.
1 Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
Your body become the temple of the Holy Ghost when you become a Born again Christian, and you can't change the rules just because there is a new boyfriend in the picture. God says this about sex out of marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Romans 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
Galatians 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Satan is messing with your friends head. He is misleading her. I pray she can gain strength to fight against him.
';she says that the bible says its NOT a sin AGAINST GOD to have sex outside of marriage, and only a sin against our own body.';
#1 What is sin? Sin is death, and death is man/womans will over God's will. Sin is simply disobedience.
Having said that, how can you sin against your own body? Did your own body create something to obey? If the word says you ';sin'; against your own body, then you disobey God against your own body.
Throughout the Bible scriptures say many times that Jesus is our Lord and Savior.
Savior? He died and shed his blood so that we would not have to, so that we could be cleansed by his death for us.
Lord? One of the meanings of the name ';Lord'; in the Hebrew/Greek concordance means ';Commander';.
Therefore to say that Jesus is your Lord and Savior, is to say He has saved you and He commands your life, you do not.
Thus to say that is to also say, your body is commanded by Him and His will.
Your body is the temple of Christ. Therefore to sin against your body (when it is His to command) is to sin against him...
Aside from your question, I'll share a point with you that once broke it down for me majorly. All my life I've been a pretty logical being, analyzing just about anything and everything trying to figure things out...
I once heard a pastor on the radio, and he flat out asked this question which blew it out of the water.
He said '; Imagine you and one other man/woman were the last 2 people that existed on earth. Imagine that you were not married, there was no disease, no aids, that you couldn't get pregnant, and that you liked each other. Would it be ok to have sex?';
I thought to myself, now that's interesting... He has basically asked a question which eliminates all human circumstances in which we would not have sex...(like I might get aids, I might get pregnant, people might hear about it etc...take those away and you have what?) But its not about human circumstances. It's about Him.
The answer to the question the pastor said was ';No, it would not be ok to have sex. Why? Simply because God says not to';...
So if you break that down in your mind, you will come to realize, people in general, even most Christians base everything they do upon circumstances. I wouldn't or would do this based on how it would effect me.
Or we shouldn't have sex before marriage because it's wrong if you are not married. The circumstance is marriage. Forget about it, forget about the circumstance. Just realize it doesn't matter why you think it's wrong or right, what matters is that God said don't do it.
We don't always need or have to have a reason. God knows why, and trusting the creator of the universe sounds like a smart move.
Hope that helps some.
Wait, wait, wait. Before you even start talking about whether it's a sin or what kind of sin, I have BIG PROBLEMS with the fact that you're letting guys make this decision for you.
You're rationalizing. We like to rationalize things to make them sound better when we know they don't line up. Again, never mind the sin-or-not question. You're rationalizing on the personal-choice thing. Meaning some part of you knows it's not right.
Your boyfriends love you? That does NOT mean you have to do whatever they want. That is NOT love.
It's hard not to have sex? Stick to your guns. Either you do believe it's wrong or you don't, and it really doesn't matter to anyone but you. But if you're saying you don't want to, then just DON'T. Hard or not. If you really don't want to, you can wait, easily.
';Knows it's wrong';? If you think it's wrong, again, don't.
Never get boyfriends that don't believe otherwise? You have a very mercenary idea of what a boyfriend should be. See, I always thought the point was to find someone you respected, who respected you. Someone who agreed with you on the things you thought were the very most important. Someone who would work with you to have a great relationship. What you're describing is just being with some random jerk who doesn't share your desire to wait, who may be showing disrespect if they're trying to pressure you in any way or if they're trying to convince you that it's okay to have sex.
Personally, I ended up not waiting. My boyfriend at the time and I made the decision-- a mutual one-- that we were ready and both wanted that next step. We are now married. So know that, honestly, I don't care whether you decide it's right or wrong. What bothers me about this story is that you don't sound like you're completely in control and making decisions for yourself about your own relationships, your own body, and your own beliefs. Ignore the less-than-helpful, rationalizing friend. Ignore the boyfriend who ';loves you'; but thinks waiting isn't for him. And come up with your OWN decision about what works best for YOU. No one else. You.
Christ said your body is a temple and you should treat it accordingly. He IMPLIED that you should be chaste. He approved of marriage by the miracle at the wedding feast.
Oh and you would be stoned in NT for what you GF said. Which means, they would take her to a rock and lay a huge stone on her chest and crush her.
Oh and in the writings of Paul, you do remember him don't you, he says that fornication is a sin, period. Like the period there, you know period. Nada, none, Zero.
Oh, and many scripture say her body is not hers, it will be her husbands, and her husbands is hers.
Oh and have you heard of the term Virgins? and the importance of Virginity? No? Yes? OK I will not get into that, she can easily come up with excuses and get around anything I say so what is the use?
She wants to have her way. that is NOT God's way!
1Cr 7:2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Cr 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Cr 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
1Cr 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1Cr 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
1Cr 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Everyone sins. Go ahead. Just apologize on sunday and all will be forgiven.
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