Anyway when they we're all here for Christmas we did what we always do in OUR house and prayed before every meal.. I was just informed by one of my family members that it really made the atheist uncomfortable and was asked to not do ';that'; this weekend... I dont want to alienate my family member and i say to each their own, but i dont feel i should stop doing something in my house just because one person doesnt like it... what do you think?? As atheists are you offended when someone prays?Need Christian AND Atheists advice/opinion.?
Pull your family atheist aside and sweetly mention that someone in the family was afraid they felt uncomfortable with the family praying. Say, ';I know they mean well, but I was just sure you realized we pray at every meal, and it has nothing to do with wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. We would feel VERY uncomfortable not praying, and I know you're a sensitive and mature enough person not to expect us all to give up our faith when you are around. Anyway, I just want you to know that just because we want to honor God on every occasion has nothing to do with how we feel about you. You are a member of our family and NOTHING can change that. We're just glad you're here!'; Then, give this person a hug.
Sometimes, getting something out in the open and confronting it gently defuses it and prevents it building up to an explosion later!
I applaud your courage at taking on such a diverse crowd! I hope everyone focuses on your cute baby and not their differences!
Oh... and just a humorous thought.... if the atheist is THAT uncomfortable with a little prayer, what on earth are they doing celebrating CHRISTMAS with the family. If they are that uptight, they really should just stay home and order pizza and watch a movie on a major Christian holiday.Need Christian AND Atheists advice/opinion.?
Maybe the get together could be at their house and then you could their traditions. I mean, if you want to go by, you have the right to do what you do in your own home, then have the get together their and let them do what they do.
I am never offended by someone of a different religion exercising their rituals. If I dont believe in it at all I just sit back and respectfully watch. Sometimes if allowed to I will paticipate, but many religious ritual do not allow people of other faiths to participate.
I wish everyone could just respect that not everyone has the same beliefs as everyone else.
I don't understand how someone would be offended by something they don't believe exists. You are not forcing them to pray aloud with you, I assume? You are not asking them to kneel at an altar? The least they could do is be respectful of your beliefs and think quietly to themselves for a minute or two while you pay your respects to God.
Don't stop praying because someone isn't comfortable with it. I am a Christian, but would not expect a Muslim family to hide their religion every time I came over for dinner.
The way I see it, the atheist knows when he comes to your house that you are a Christian, so I think it is quite fine if that person steps outside during prayer or whatever, and if you are in that person's house it would not be appropriate to insist on prayer knowing it's their house and they are atheist. At your family gatherings (your family sounds like mine) I would definitely have a rule that religion is not discussed. That is how we handle it. JMO
To be honest, as long as you don't insist they join in, they've got no right to complain. It's your house, your celebration, and hell, grace takes less than a minute. Tell them they don't need to join in, and don't get offended when they don't, and you should be all fine.
It is not about you offending your family member it is about you proclaiming Jesus and God. Tell your family member quietly that you understand that they are uncomfortable with the prayer and you will be praying before the meal if they would like to wait to come to the table you would be fine with that so as to not have them offended but you are going to give thanks to God for your food.
It is your right to pray as it is your home. It would be respectful to tell them, ';you do not have to participate in our prayer if you do not wish, and we mean no offense, this is just the tradition in our home,'; or something similar. They shouldn't feel offended by prayer if they themselves aren't forced to participate.
As an atheist, I don't get offended when anyone prays before a meal, no matter if it is in their house, my house, or in a public restaurant.
If they insist I join in, or bow my head, I will decline. But if they just want to take a moment and do what they feel is right, then I don't care.
If it bothers him/her that much, maybe he/she could just come to dinner late.
And if you were around his group of friends and they didn't pray before eating, would you be offended? I doubt it - you'd probably just pray to yourself. He doesn't have to say ';amen';. Not everyone has to be ';comfortable'; all the time - that's part of life. Anyhow- maybe just warn him that you're about to pray and if he want's to go to the kitchen or something while you all do it - don't force him to participate, you know?
Your house, your rules.
No - I'm not offended, I just won't participate. I won't hold your hands or put my head down. I just wait until you are done and then dig in.
You shouldn't have to change the traditions you carry out in your home. The atheist should be understanding of that and just not participate. At the same time, the Christians shouldn't make them feel bad for it. No funny looks, no comments and if they want to start eating, then let them. I wouldn't but that's just me.
Just tell the person that if it bothers them to leave the room while you pray.
I'm atheist and if someone were praying and i didn't feel comfortable and it was in their house i would just leave the room until they were done.
you shouldn't have to stop something in your house because one guest doesn't like it.
It is difficult for me to even imagine that a member of your own family could show you such disrespect in your own home.
My response would be: Brother/Cousin/Whatever, You are always welcome in my home. As I have always shown you respect when I'm in your house, I expect you to show me the same respect when I say grace and raise my daughter in mine.
I'm still floored. I guess the time has come for Christians to draw the line.
I am an atheist and I think that you can do whatever the hell you want. As long as you don't expect him/her to join you then do what you want. No one has the right to tell other people what to do if it isn't hurting anyone. When people do that around me I just sit there til there done. Time to reflect is always good anyway and maybe he will think about what is to be expected of others.
So my humble opinion is that...A) it is your house so your traditions have some merit and b) the majority (6 of 7) would be completely comfortable praying so why does the minority 1 out of 7 take precedent over the majority? In a democracy, the majority rules and freedom allows those who disagree to abstain. Seems simple. Tolerance and respect goes both ways.
I don't ever mind, as long as I'm not forced to participate. It can be a little awkward (for about, a minute...) but I would never even think to ask someone else to stop doing something that means a lot to them just because I don't do it. The atheist needs to really just get over it.
Oh, this is a sad state. We all tend to be selfish. The Christians don't take into consideration that they're making the Athiest uncomfortable when they pray. The Atheist doesn't take into consideration that they are making the Christians uncomfortable by asking them NOT to say grace before a meal.
We all want our cake.
Since you say they're staying for the weekend, ask them to trade off. One meal say grace, the next meal don't. When I am out with my non-believing friends I'll often say grace in the bathroom while I'm washing my hands.
I would feel more uncomfortable making everybody forgo their beliefs and practices to accommodate my lack of belief. It does not bother me in such situations, and I will just bow my head while they do their prayers. He should not be forced into praying, but he should not force other people to obey his will.
You're really thinking about appeasing 1 over the 6??
The atheist doesn't have to pray when you do... I would be offended that they are coming into your house and are offended by what goes on. It's your house, do what YOU want, not what they want.
And yes, I'd expect that if I went to an atheist's house, I would pray by myself... I wouldn't expect them to start praying before meals because I was there.
I am a Christian- however, I will try answer- I have friends who are not believers, and they never are offended because they know , in my home it is what we do- however what I would do if someone did object- I would ask those who want to pray to pray together separately without him/her- because to me God is God no matter if a person chooses to believe or not.
Speaking as an atheist, that atheist is annoying.
What's the point of having no religion if you treat your disbelief like a belief? That takes all the fun out of it.
I can celebrate whatever holidays I want, and say a blessing or not say a blessing. Just like I can go to any sporting event or see the concert of a musician I don't care for. They're all hobbies anyway.
There is no problem with your family praying before a meal. Just don't ask the atheist to say grace.
The atheist should be aware that you are all Christians and that you will have religious associations with the holidays. It should not offend him. If it did, he should not attend.
I would not conform my beliefs and traditions to fit anyone else's needs. If it makes him uncomfortable, then he can either not come or politely refuse to participate. No one should be expected to change their normal routine because one person might be ';offended.'; That's ridiculous. Remember what Jesus said - if you're ashamed of him and you deny him, then He'll deny you.
Your house, your rules...
Praying isn't a big deal, unless you make a huge one out of it? Do you demand that everyone kneels and recites the prayer after you? Holding hands?
If I was there, I'd simply not pray... I wouldn't be offended... well, unless you'd spend the rest of the meal threathening me with hellfire.
My family prays in their home all the time. I respect their right to do that. Its when its done out loud in government facilities where we are suppose to try and hold a separation from church and state, thats when I get irritated. But feel free to do it in your own home.
If you really want to get an answer, ask that particular atheist. Asking us is of no use, because we may not all agree on everything.
As for how I feel, I'm an atheist but I don't have any problems unless I'm being forced to join in and pray. I'd much rather stay silent while everyone does their thing.
praying is ok. PREYING isn't.
If you are secure in your belief or lack there of you don't need the validation of others believing exactly as you do. If you have doubts you need to make sure everyone agrees with you. No religion (Atheism is a religion) is the one true one but the truer ones must be sought.
';Each seeker must find their own path';
Practice your beliefs in your home. Any one who objects is just insecure don't enable it!
I think I'll answer you in terms of etiquette: while it is your responsibility to make your guests comfortable, it is their responsibility to respect the rules of your household. The atheist has no need to participate in the prayer, but should simply wait quietly until it is finished.
As an atheist I understand this discomfort. BUT, when you are in someone's home, you follow what they do. Just common courtesy.
You could always say to the atheist, ';i know this isn't your bag, but would you mind if we prayed'; (or is it prey, I always get those backwards)
it is your house and your rules...I don't believe in god/s...but if your praying is that offensive to me, I would leave the room or ignore it.....that is a silly request....most atheists have no problem with YOU praying....unless they are being force/requested to join in.
Your home your rules. If you went to the atheist's house, you should go by her rules. We atheists don't like having religion shoved down our throats, but it's your house. If it makes her uncomfortable, she can just not show up.
Pray away.
I would just go up to the person and talk to them privately and tell them that you will be praying at the meal and if they want to step away from it during that time, you understand completely.
I am an atheist. I would not think of asking someone to change their ways, particularly regular religious practices, in their own home to accommodate me. If the practice is a brief prayer before a meal, I'll gladly sit quietly until its finished. If the practice is some long or elaborate ritual, unless I'm interested in observing the goings on, I'll likely look for an opportunity to absent myself and do something of interest to me.
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