Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christian advice plx! How to stop unreal closeness?

I met this guy at work. It all started one night which is a few days ago I asked him if he could give me a ride home after work...we talked a lot and it was kind of cool. He asked for a goodbye hug and I gave it. We hanged out the next day...he came over to my place and we played music together...later that day we were watching tv together at my place and I cooked him something...after we were done...we started to be playful....cushion frighting...then he tried to hug me and kissed my hair and cheek...I never have a boyfriend and I never been close to a boy at all...and I always think that as a Christian I have to watch out how close I get with someone who's not my husband....I have to admit that what he was doing to me was very tempting...he touched me (not sensitive part) and holding me and smelled my neck....I tried to push away and told him that that was too fast...yet I didn't just get up and walked away...I mean he didn't really pushing me to do anything...I do like him and enjoy his touch...yet I know this is not right....we're not really in a relationship and he's not Christian...he asked if he could kiss me...yet I said no....it would be my first kiss...and I really want to save it for the one...I know I shouldn't have let him keep touching me...later we were in the car and I let me touched my leg and I was holding his hand...he tried to kiss me again and I pulled away. 2 days later he called and ask if he could come over to relax a little bit...I actually missed him so I said yes...this time he sat close to me, then started kissing my neck, my hair, my ear...shoulder...and he held me and kissed my chest....I don't know...I like him but I guess this should being happening at all...and I afraid I'll be used...he also borrowed some money from me since he didn't have gas left in his car...please give me advice on how to tell him that I don't think that's appropriate...I do want to be friends with him...of course I wouldn't care if he choose to walk away once he knows that he'll not get anything physical...christian please help!Christian advice plx! How to stop unreal closeness?
1) How strong is your belief in your Christian principles?


2) How much will you give to keep your principles?


3) How well can you control your own desires?





All these questions, you must ask yourself. First, number 1 and 2. If your Christian principles are strong and firm, and you feel that breaking this principles displeases God, den you need to sit down and draw out for yourself clear boundaries that you feel God will approve off. When you are very sure of the boundaries that you want to set, then you need to ask yourself the 3rd question. Can you subject your own desires as a normal human being to these boundaries that you feel God approves of? When you have settled this battle in your own heart and mind, then you can tackle this guy with confidence and firmness.





Next step would be to sit this guy down and tell him straight. Tell him you like him, and would like to see how this relationship develops, whether he was the one for you. Tell him you are open to the friendship developing into something more. But then, set down the ground rules. Tell him what is a NO NO. Tell him what you would allow him to do. Tell him that your leaving out mentioning some things doesnt mean you allow it. Tell him if he wants to try something new, to ask you first. Also make it clear to him, that if he deliberately tries to test your boundaries, you would put an end to the relationship.





I think if he really likes you, he will respect you more, because he will see that you respect yourself, and you are a principled young lady. But if he turns a cold shoulder to you after you talk to him, then thank God that you did not have to be subjected to someone who has no regards for your principles and your God.





God Bless your efforts.Christian advice plx! How to stop unreal closeness?
STAY AWAY FROM THIS GUY....





yikss.....he is a cheap dude... (borrow money from you to buy a gas???)....and he was trying to tempt you in having sex with him (FOR FREE)...





is this man for real????





i would be turn off by now....
I think you should sleep with him.





If you are old enough to be working, and have your own place, but have never even been kissed, then this guy may be your last chance!
Tell him what you've just told us.





If he can't respect your boundries, get out.
hit it and quit it
well, you're better off telling him he isn't going to get any action unless he's going to go the whole nine yards.


That may invariably lead to either you finding out he's genuine or a sleaze bag leading you on with lies and gets into bed with you and then boots you off.


And to make it worse, you probably can't tell right now because your head's swimming in all the pheromones you're both giving out.


Best advice: ask a close friend you can REALLY trust.


ask them what they think about him and their perspective. A third party's point of view is refreshing but be prepared in case it's not what you're hoping.


I know it sounds tragic, but true friends will look out for you and keep your head above water when everything else seems to be drowning.


Good part: sounds like he may be really keen. Ask him to take it slow. A real man, will stick around. A player will know you're onto him. Either way , balls in your court(no pun intended)
Honesty is the best policy....discuss your beliefs and values with him. If he has similar values-great! Then discuss the boundaries of your relationship nd how far you are both willing to go within the boundaries of a christian relationship. If he does not have the same values you should move on.....he will constantly try push the boundaries and both of your end goals will be VERY different! GOOD LUCK:)
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