Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christian Advice Needed!! Separated from Alcoholic Husband, 23 yrs, involved with another women. IT HURTS!!!?

LONG STORY!!! But Most Currently, I did intervention for him to go the ALCOHOL Treatment Center!!! He's now sober!!! He'd been living in Arizona with family after his rental house burned down in the fires last year, me %26amp; Kids are in California... He just got done with treatment center in California... and wanted to immediately go back to Arizona... he SAYS he wants to come back to California to be near kids, he needs to get his truck, tools, and dog... Before he left, he was a little intimate with me, i am thinking to show me that he doesn't want her... but now HE's BACK in town where she is.... and SHE wants him.. and SHE LOOKS LIKE ME... and I am a whiny, insecure, jealous, SCARED person... He wants ME to be STRONG... we BOTH need to get STRONGER %26amp; start out as FRIENDS... we have THREE KIDS and a HISTORY of lots of STUFF, but ALOT OF LOVE... WHY DO I KEEP TAKING IT??? MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH!!! He went to Arizona yesterday to MOVE OUT of HER PLACE... and He hasn't called me... The TREATMENT CENTER says GIVE HIM TIME... WHY DO I WANT HIM???? I know I need HELP... and I am going to a therapist... and ALANON... but, I seen text messages he sent her right before the intervention %26amp; they are SEXUAL... and am I SO BLIND???? He's not the cheating type... BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT.... we have been off %26amp; on many times %26amp; I did have a sexual relationship 2 years ago... and we got back together after that,,, but as he drank alcohol, he thought I was seeing this guy still.... and he got emotional and abusive... WHY DO I WANT HIM???? I JUST WANT OUR FAMILY SO BAD... I SHOULD BE MAD AT HIM... and I LET him BE INTIMATE WITH ME on CHRISTMAS, before he left.... It made me happy, but, I HATE TO WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE's GOING TO DO!!! BUT, I HURT HIM TOO 2 years ago.............. WHAT CAN I do for this HEARTACHE???? I guess the REALITY is I NEED TO MOVE ON %26amp; TAKE CARE OF ME!!!! I am definitely CLOSER TO GOD!!! but I feel so GUILTY from what I DID before.... SOrry this is SO LONG... there is so much MORE to say... Thanks for READING....Christian Advice Needed!! Separated from Alcoholic Husband, 23 yrs, involved with another women. IT HURTS!!!?
Sometimes in the darkest hour we long for the one thing that we do not feel from our spouse...unconditional love. Every person desires to have this longing fulfilled and we look for it in other people. The difficulty comes after years of looking to that person that they cannot meet that need. We are human, we screw up, we make mistakes. When it all comes down, you are allowing him to treat you like this because you don't see yourself as someone who deserves more. Through this relationship it has been ingrained into your head that this is how you deserve to be treated; this is love.





It is a hard thing not to be intimate with someone you love and care about, especially once married to them. You have helped him so much by intervening in his life. You love him and care for him, but is it because you truly feel unconditional love for him, or because you want to fill that void inside and think he can do it? We are broken people, with broken and skewed views. We have to have enough grace to let people be who they are, but also have enough respect for ourselves to know when to draw the line. The best thing for you to do is probably not call him. He was intimate with you probably for many reasons, but if he really wanted to show you he didn't want to be with her he wouldn't be with her. You say he's not the cheating type, but he cheated. Don't allow fear of this pain to blind you to what has happened in your relationship. Don't allow your guilt of being in a sexual relationship two years ago stop you now from drawing the line. You want more for your relationship than this.





It's hard to let go of a lost love. You have dreams and hopes for your life and have seen them fall to the ground. The pain is very real and very potent. Face the true reasons you want him. To be happy? To feel secure? To keep things the way they are because it is easier than this? Find out what they are. If the motivations turn out to be true love then he is a truly blessed person to have someone feel that toward him...but don't forget there is someone who feels that way about you. God is the one holding your heart and longing to show you how much more you deserve a life only he can give. Think of your children, how much you want a good life for them...and for them to know what real love is about. You are someone's child too. It takes one step after the other...then one more step to walk out what you believe. What do you believe about this situation? What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about who you want to be and where you are now? There is more for you. Be it with him as a clean and whole person or not, you deserve to find healing and peace and what unconditional love is truly all about.Christian Advice Needed!! Separated from Alcoholic Husband, 23 yrs, involved with another women. IT HURTS!!!?
Your mad because you love him, and you want him. But if hes with another woman. You need to move on and be with your kids. If he knows your sorry and willing to work on you all relationship, and he still with that other woman. What do you want to do about, are you going to sit here and cry over him when hes not fighting for you.
I completely understand where your coming from a long marriage like that even with problems can be tough stay strong and keep praying give it to god and it will work out in his time not yours





Good luck Ill pray for you and your family
  • concealer
  • No comments:

    Post a Comment