Christian advice for sexual issues?

My husband and I dated for 7 years and just recently got married. We're young and very much in love, but I seem to have some sort of sexual issue. I enjoy it when I am willing to, but otherwise, I just can't seem to relax! I can't get into it, so then I don't even want it. I get stressed and annoyed everytime it's even brought up. It's been so bad the past month that now the last few times we've tried it ended up with me in tears and my husband angry. Each time something like that happens, it's like we take 10 steps back.





We have an appointment to meet with a Christian marriage counselor/sex therapist next week, but I really need help. I think it's mostly my fault because I can't seem to NOT get stressed about it now. My husband is very supportive and he treats me so well, but I know that this is very difficult for him because sex and affection is how he feels most loved. I know that sex should be for both of us to enjoy together, but it's so bad now that I don't know where to start or how to get back to that point. We're both so hurt now.





Please help.Christian advice for sexual issues?
The counseling is a good idea and I think it will help. The problem can be dealt with effectively and is not uncommon.





However, I would avoid an evangelical sex counselor and either go with a mainline Christian counselor or better yet a secular sex counselor.





Evangelical counselors tend toward not being that open about sex and this is a sexual and intimacy issue.Christian advice for sexual issues?
you will have to excuse them


they are idiots





its not your fault dear, its the natural reflexes of the human body. the worst thing you can do with this is stay away from your husband, while you cannot show your love in a physical way through sex, always show him that you are attracted to him and you love him very much





the therapists will help out quite a bit as well
This is a problem for alot of religious people. Your husband needs to be understanding ,and not pressure you to do things that make you feel bad or bad about yourself .I've been married 30 years .There is more to life than sex ,but you have to consider his urges too .
I think a counselor is a great idea and the stuff you learn from most of the idiots on yahoo isn't going to extremely helpful. Both of you should be patient with the other. But there should never be any forcing of any kind. It will only make matters worse. Good luck.
Talk about not learning from past experience. The phrase most applicable 'barking up the wrong tree'.





It is difficult to understand why you seek knowledge from those least likely to possess it i.e. xtains.
Further the proof that no sex before marriage is just a ridiculous concept ...
Be smart and make one more appointment to see your doctor.





You stand a better chance of getting a proper diagnosis and treatment.
I was always told getting married is like buying a used car...


sometimes you need to ride the sh*t out of it, before you make your choice=)
I think you are right to meet with the therapist. It will probably be a fresh start. It sounds like there may be some tension in other issues that are getting in the way.





One of the things many married couples miss is the courting aspect of a relationship. When we are dating, we know that the other person is making a choice to be with us, but after marriage, we tend to take the relationship for granted, and our wants and needs may seem like entitlements.





Some Christians believe that withing marriage, sex is a right, and that it can't be denied. I don't know the theological answer, but I do know it is impossible to demand romance.





I have heard that in times of sexual stress, it is better to concentrate on the neck up, and forget about and lose all expectations of anything else ...until things proceed naturally. My guess is that your counselor will give you similar advice next week.





In the meantime, explore other ways to love your husband. Husbands still like their favorite dinners, back rubbed, and tickets to sporting events. It's kind of like saying hang in there, everything will be okay.





Spend time praying together and asking God to heal this part of your marriage. If you are planning on children in the future, that is the most romantic part of all. Nothing is more exciting than the miracle of a new life.
Unfortunately this is not a question anyone here can answer. There's too much background information needed to assess your situation and this is not the venue to discuss these private matters.





That said, please understand that sex is both an expression of love and an expression of the ';animal instinct'; in all of us. For now it would do both of you good to concentrate on the expression-of-love aspect of sex. You are to give of yourself totally to your husband and he is to give of himself totally to you.





You may want to have a talk with your husband and discuss what it means to feel love and to give love. Once the two of you understand what the other is looking for (and needs) you'll both find great enjoyment is sex. And as always, pray to the Lord, asking Him for guidance. He designed sex to be pleasurable both physically and emotionally.
If you're Christian, sex isn't supposed to be fun. It's only to make a baby.Please, go to a REAL sex therapist