I am a christian and looking for christian advice/support. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage?

I am a christian and looking for christian advice/support. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage?


and it has came to his attention that he does not want to spend his life with me. We are not meant to be nor will we make eachother truely happy so he says. He has been depressed and struggling spiritually for as far as I can remember. He has been physical and verbally rough with me, but it was months ago. He has had suspicious relationships but I have no evidence of an affair. By his choice I have moved out, back to my mom and dad's, and he filed for divorce. There is no reason for it and I in no way want it. I know I have to stand back and just pray, as all things are in Gods hands anyway. I just am having a hard time trusting seeing how I have no idea what really caused this other than ';not having much in common'; schpeel. I am only 21 and I know what the bible says about re-marrying. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life while he is off re-marrying and never considering God's will in this. Any advice? What should I do? Can people pray for me? Any scriptures come to mind?I am a christian and looking for christian advice/support. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage?
Carmen..log on to our women's website its...christianwomentoday.com..you will get all the prayer you need, plus.


As for your question right now, since it's such a painful time I would continue in prayer and attending church. Stay at home until you feel more stable. If your husband refuses to stay with you, perhaps his faith is not where you think it is.


Since he is abandoning the marriage, I do not feel you are bound to remain unmarried in this case.


Read The scriptures below. and maybe we can chat on the website I gave you.I am a christian and looking for christian advice/support. My husband and I are in our first year of marriage?
There's more in the Word about marriage than you understand. I would suggest


that you find a (true) Christian


Counselor who would help you


to understand this.


Firstly, Since your husband


left the marriage bed....in effect, he has already given


you a divorce. You are free


in the eyes of the Lord to live


your own life! In the eyes of


man, you must still get a legal


divorce. Don't ask others to


pray for you. Your own prayer


carries more weight than the


others since you are living it.


If your conscience is clean


about wanting a sincere marriage, then just pray your


husband finds whatever it is


the Lord wants for him and for


you also.


You are free to live your life


sweety...God did not put you


in bondage. Your life is to be


lived to the fullest!!!
This must certainly be difficult, going through this.





What should you do? Move on with your life. You are young. There is no sense wasting your time and energy on someone who is not willing to give it back 100%.
My mother stayed married to my father for 42 years because she thought it was the ';Christian'; thing to do. During those years my father physically, emotionally and verbally abused her. He was an alcoholic who ';played'; Christian only when it suited him. Do you want to spend your life with someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you? Scripturally speaking (if you would take the scriptures literally) the only reason for a divorce is in the case of adultery. However, in today's world, being so far from the perfection that God originally created, He is not going to hold you accountable for another person's actions. As long as you know you have not done anything to violate your Christian principles, you are free to remarry. If you are still having doubts, talk to a trusted pastor.
More love, I see.





Sin in sin, right. In god's eyes there is no sin worse than another; with the exception of the unpardonable, which ISN'T divorce.





That means that in god's eyes this is just another forgivable sin.





Stop listening to human teachers that make divorce and remarriage a worse sin than murder.





See also 1 Cor 7:15
The New Testament consigns ';unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's';; it demands that women be obedient to their husbands; it accepts faith healing, exorcisms, and miracles; it exalts obedience over independence, fear and trembling over courage, and piety over self-determination.





The Bible, Qur'an, and other classical documents are full of contradictions and factual errors. They were written by human beings in ancient civilizations, expressing the scientific and moral speculations of their day. They do not convey the eternal word of God, but rather the yearnings of ancient tribes based on oral legends and received doctrines; as such, they are hardly relevant to all cultures and times. The Old and New Testaments are not accurate accounts of historical events. The reliability of the Old Testament is highly questionable in the events and personages it depicts; Moses, Abraham, Joseph, etc. are largely uncorroborated by historical evidence. As for the New Testament, scholarship has shown that none of its authors knew Jesus directly. The four Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses but are products of oral tradition and hearsay. There is but flimsy and contradictory evidence for the virgin birth, the healings of Jesus, and the Resurrection. Similarly, contrary to Muslim claims that that religion's scriptures passed virtually unmediated from Allah, there have in fact been several versions of the Qur'an; it is no less a product of oral traditions than the Bible. Likewise, the provenance of the Hadith, allegedly passed down by Muhammad's companions, has not been independently confirmed by reliable historical research


I realize that liberal religionists generally have rejected the absolutist creeds of fundamentalism. Fortunately, they have been influenced by modern democratic and humanistic values, which mitigate fundamentalism's inherent intolerance. Nevertheless, even many liberal believers embrace a key article of faith in the three major Abrahamic religions, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism: the promise of eternal salvation.
God wants you to be happy. Find someone that will love you and treat you like you deserve.





Talk to your family and your minister about this.
My cynicism can't help wondering how much of this mess 'God' is already responsible for. Did you live together before marriage? Sleep together? Do anything else to establish that you were suited before taking the plunge into the pit you now find yourself in?





If not, perhaps you should leave 'God' out of your future planning, as it doesn't appear to help. Why not establish what you want, work out how to get it morally, and then go for it?





If 'God' has any opinion I'm sure you'll be made aware of it.





CD
I will definitely pray for you. The only advice that I can give is to be an example to him. Do extra to show your love to him. The world will tell you to give up, he is no good, cut your losses etc... but God is greater than that. Stand for your marriage. Let God lead you in what you should do. If you can, get the book ';The Five Love Languages'; by Gary Chapman. It is awesome. It taught me how to love my husband even when he was not giving me what I needed. It will definitely help you. I know it is rough, but hang in there!!!
Remember, ';god'; is nothing more than a nonsense word created by man to explain away all of the things we can't yet understand.





Prayer is nothing more than talking to yourself.





Find someone that treats you right and makes you feel good about yourself.
I too have strong Christian beliefs. However, I have been married three times. Do you think that God wants you to be unhappy. He puts these trials in our way to test our strength and convictions. My third wife and I are both happier than we have ever been. She to was married twice before. We asked our Pastor about this and he told us that God brought us together for a reason. I found out that that reason was that I was to bring my wife into the church. She wasn't a believer and now she is.





You may not have been meant to be together, but the experience has made you stronger and hasn't shaken your beliefs. Rejoice in God's blessings, thank him for ending the abuse, and find what makes you happy.





Man made marriage, God made man.
Hi, I am a student/teacher of the manuscripts; I want you to listen very, very carefully to what I am going to say to you:





Many Churches will tell you that you have to stay married, or if you get a divorce you are living in sin, and cannot ever be married again. Divorce IS NOT THE SIN. Adultery


would be the sin IF IT APPLIES. The Bible states that in a case such as your, IF YOU REPENT of any part you may have had in the ruin of the marriage (we are not completely innocent and i'm sure there were fights and mean things said, etc.) -


IF YOU REPENT, then it will be as if that marriage never occured; AND YOU ARE FREE TO MARRY AGAIN IF YOU WANT TO.


Please, do NOT let any person or any church put you in bondage where you end up spending the rest of your life alone. This is NOT BIBLICAL. You are FREE IN CHRIST, so if anyone makes you feel in bondage to be lonley and childless, etc, then THEY ARE LIARS.


Allow the divorce to go through, repent and ask Jesus for a fresh start.


When you are divorced, you start your new fresh life that Christ gives to you, and you be happy and go on with your life.





I have seen women (and men) who live the rest of their lives lonley because of the misguided junk told them by the Churches.





There is a woman who lives two miles from where I sit, who was told by her priest that she could not divorce her husband when he was in jail for the rape of their 3 and 5 year old little girls. The husband got out of jail in one year (?) and that same Priest TOLD HER SHE HAD TO TAKE HIM BACK.


She had to turn those baby girls over to be WARDS OF THE STATE. They live in residential institutions to this day. One is now 10 the other 12. The 10 yr old tried to kill herself three times.


DOES THIS SOUND LIKE GODS WILL TO YOU?? It sounds like nothing more than the devils work to me, quite frankly.


And these stories are very frequently heard.


DON'T YOU BE ANOTHER STATISTIC.


When I read your post, my heart SUNK.


You are only 21 years old; you have the right under God, your Heavenly Father who Created you and who loves you, to have a full and joyful life. God wants that for you. Do you know in the Book of Hosea, God DIVORCED the Tribes of Israel for


idolatry (God uses adultery to get the point across of how it felt, how it hurt him).


Lets say you are told that you have to be alone for the rest of your life, and you do that. There you are, lonely, miserable, unfulflled, unhappy. WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD in Gods work can you do? None.


You would be an un-usable servant, because you would be so damned unhappy.


I have seen so much of this same kind of thing that right now my hands are shaking as I write this.


Look, nobody wants divorce. God hates divorce - I bet you do, too, right? So do I.


But its not of your doing. You are not the one running off, he is. Why allow yourself


to suffer when its not your fault, and God does not want that for you? Don't allow it.


Don't you dare allow this; take a stand.


REFUSE to be damned to a life of lonliness. You can do wonderful things in your life, both for God and for yourself.


Have you ever considered that God already has his hand in this? You are obviously a woman of faith. What if its God who realizes this marriage is wrong, and is moving this jerk out of your path so that you can do a special work in your life? If you


close yourself up and are miserable, you may not be able to accomplish the very thing that God is pushing you towards.


Maybe there's a child in your future, but God could not allow it to come thru that particular marriage - it being not so good.


If I were you, I would continue my prayers


to God, repent of any part you had in the marriage problems, and ask God for a fresh start. Then know that you have that fresh start. When that divorce comes thru,


smile at it, and call it the old cliche:


';this is the first day of the rest of my life';.


Thats what you should do.


Thats what God wants you to do, and then


by doing it you can continue to be a servant, useful in his Work, and happy in your life.


Quite frankly, its your x who needs the prayers, because God does not like it when someone messes with his child; HE HAS.


His life isn't gonna be worth a damn, but if


you have faith and not allow anyone or any Church to make you a second-class citizen,


then you have wonders in store for you.


I WILL PRAY FOR YOU; I will also pray that you hear what I'm saying to you.


Again, please don't end up one of these


sad statistics. Its not what God intends for his own. God bless and keep you.





rt
This is a very hard situation. Just know that it is not you that are committing the sin here. You've mentioned that you are a Christian and he is struggling. This may be the root of your problems. All you can do is pray at this point, you are so right. The Lord has someone for you. It took me 3 marriages and 33 years for me to find mine. I know the Lord has blessed this marriage for we are blessed indeed. I'm praying for you as I type. It's so hard to feel so helpless, just know that Jesus is carrying you.
First, I want to say that Reallytrue101 hit the nail on the head. He is absolutely correct. God doesn't desire divorce, but the Bible does give reasons when it is acceptable. Infidelity is one. Marrying an unbeliever is another. I don't remember the 3rd one, but I'm pretty sure there are 3 reasons that the Bible allows for divorce. Sounds as if despite your lack of proof of infidelity, there could have been that possibility. Also sounds as if he might possibly not even be a Christian, if he has been struggling with his spiritual life for quite some time (we Christians all struggle from time to time, but your description sounds like there is that chance he might not even be in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ). If these two things apply to your husband, then you would be free to marry again, according to the Bible.





That said, I am a Christian who divorced my verbally abusive, cruel, manipulative and extremely controlling husband after 20 years of marriage. He quoted the Bible all the time to justify his actions to hurt me. I had plenty of reasons to divorce him, considering that he was abusive (emotionally and verbally), he was cruel, he treated me horribly, he was physically abusive to our children at times, he was controlling and selfish and I was terribly unhappy and miserable. Still, while I was going through my divorce, I attended a divorce recovery group at my church. There, I learned that there are 3 things (might only be 2) the Bible says are acceptable reasons for divorce which would allow someone to marry again. I also learned that despite how I was treated, it in no way justifies divorcing my husband, according to the Bible. The group I attended understood how I (and the many others in the group) felt and in no way did they suggest that I not divorce my husband. Quite the contrary. They understood my reasons and were supportive of the process and struggle I was going through.





The church gave me information about what the Bible says about divorce, but they also said that before we embark on divorce, we ought to try to reconcile, be separated instead if that is possible, and go to God for guidance. If all those measures fail and the divorce is something we feel we must do (either by our choice or our spouse's choice), then we can receive forgiveness and healing because we have tried our best to avoid it.





Now as for me? I struggled with guilt because I know what the Bible says about divorce. It was my commitment to my marriage vows and my determination to never divorce which caused me to stay married in a bad marriage for 20 years. Still, I felt I had no choice because I couldn't go through life being miserable and showing my children an example of an unhealthy marital relationship, thereby condemning them to a life of potential marital problems when they marry. I did try to work things out. My husband actually tried to reconcile with me and I refused. The reason I refused was because he was not interested in demonstrating his love for me by accepting responsibility for the many hurtful and cruel things he did to me (a very long story), but chose to continue to blame me for everything and then tried to shame or guilt me into taking him back. Had he but apologized, just once, I would have separated instead and gone to counseling with him. I told him I needed an apology and he couldn't and wouldn't do it.





So yes, I had guilt, because while I tried my best to make the marriage work, I wouldn't reconcile when he asked. I felt that to reconcile when he displayed the same attitudes as before, would just be to go back to the same abusive habit patterns he was showing me. My divorce was long and ugly (took a year and went to trial) and there was a bitter custody battle. My children live with me now, I have made a new life for myself and I have remarried. My ex-husband also remarried, but his wife left him for the same reasons I did, and they weren't even married a year.





You did not choose to end this marriage. Your husband did. You have stood by him and pledged your love to him. HE is the one who wants out and HE is the one who filed for divorce. If he marries again when he is the one whose behavior destroyed the marriage, then HE is the one who is sinning here. I do believe that God forgives us when we divorce, even though He doesn't approve of divorce. I believe that God understands and knows that you have been a Godly wife and that you have tried to remain faithful to your vows. I also believe that God knows you are innocent here.





Throughout the painful process of my own divorce, I felt such shame because I thought God was disappointed in me for filing for divorce. Still, because I kept my integrity throughout the process and did not seek to harm my husband in the process (as he tried to do to me), and because I always sought God's guidance in how to conduct myself and handle things, I believe that God honored that. If you could have been at my trial and seen how things happened, and been with me throughout the process, you would have seen how MUCH God was with me and helped me through the process. He blessed me in so many ways I can't even describe. He not only forgave me for initiating the divorce, but He helped me through it and He blessed me abundantly afterwards.





I met my new husband later and I proceeded very cautiously with him. I took the time to get to know him and to make sure he was someone I felt I could be happy with. He too is a Christian and while neither of us is perfect by any means, we are happy. We are SO compatible and very much alike in many ways. We understand and respect one another. It is almost as if God saw how horribly I was treated by my first husband, that He kind of plopped my second husband in my lap when I wasn't even looking for someone, and it is as if my second husband and I were made to be the best one suited for each other. We feel like soulmates.





I don't have any scripture verses to give you - only my own personal experience. You are young. You should not feel like you will be sinning if you marry again. You should not be denied at a second chance for a happy marriage for the rest of your life because your first husband was/is unkind and unloving toward you. I don't believe that is what God has in mind for you. I would just like to encourage you to take comfort in the fact that you have done nothing wrong. God is with you. Keep leaning on God and He will see you through this. Keep your motives pure in all that you do and don't seek to hurt him even though he has hurt you. God will honor that, and one day, God may even bring someone wonderful into your life who will make you very, very happy. When that happens, don't consider yourself to be sinning. God has already forgiven you for the sin of divorce and it is His desire that you serve Him, trust Him and live a happy and joyous life, which may or may not include being married again.





God bless you.
God is imaginary and praying is just talking to yourself. A waste of breath. Instead of wasting your breath and time do something positive to help yourself. Divorce the man. Get yourself out of an abusive situation. There is the possibility of STDs too since he is, according to you, possibly sleeping with other women. Get the divorce, consider it good riddance to bad trash, use better judgment next time. start your live over, make a new beginning,





Forget depending on an imaginary being to run your life for you. Take charge of your own life, take responsibility for your own actions, work to improve your situation.
Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you? You are still so young. Cut your losses and look at this as experience.
I don't think the real issue is with your husband now. A man should never marry until he is ready to put his wife first. It is apparent that your husband kept putting himself first. He is out the door. He has left and there you are beating yourself up, looking for a loophole to justify not letting him go.





You love him and that is what the real issue is now. You have to let go because he does not want you.





Now you know that God has not left you. Keep your faith strong and accept that you did nothing wrong. You surely are allowed to find someone who will put you first.





He made his decision and now you have to make yours. Of course it is not going to be that simple. It of course will take time. But you still have to eventually let go.
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you're going through this. It's true, the Bible says that the only grounds for divorce is unfaithfulness because God hates divorce. However, there ARE Christians out there who do part ways over irreconcilable differences. Biblically it IS considered a sin, but that doesn't mean that God will love you any less. He loves you so much that He sent His son to die on the cross for your salvation. My mom got divorced and then later remarried and I have no doubts in regards to her salvation. I truly believe that the only way it can be lost is by denying God. It is because of the Lord's everlasting grace and mercy that you are saved. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless!





PS: Click on the links below for scripture referencing what I've said.
So he just started being abusive over night? How does someone all the sudden become a jerk? You didn't know this man, but you married him any way.





STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. Do not create babies with this jerk. Go to counseling and until he gets help stay at your daddy's house. You can separate and not have a divorce.





Don't cut your loses.....do not give up. You choose to marry this man. You can not throw away your vowels. The ONLY reason for divorce is adultery....THE ONLY REASON. Be patient and kind to him and hopefuly he will submit himself to Christ again. That is the only way.
That is a tough situation!





Your husband is in great need of help with depression


and also seems to need healing and deliverance


spiritually. He is not believing what he should


believe - it is very significant. It is so much so, that he


could even be considered close to an unbeliever as


in I Cor. 7.





I Cor 7


15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.





There are times in our lives as in Ecc. 3





Ecclesiastes 3


1 There is a time for everything,


and a season for every activity under heaven:


2 a time to be born and a time to die,


a time to plant and a time to uproot,


3 a time to kill and a time to heal,


a time to tear down and a time to build,


4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,


a time to mourn and a time to dance,


5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,


a time to embrace and a time to refrain,


6 a time to search and a time to give up,


a time to keep and a time to throw away,


7 a time to tear and a time to mend,


a time to be silent and a time to speak,


8 a time to love and a time to hate,


a time for war and a time for peace.





The Lord wants you to know this - it goes


especially for your husband as well


as your own life!





God will grant you peace. Seek Him!
He is leaving you, you are not leaving Him and God knows that so I don't THINK you have sinned in His eyes, but what I do no for sure is that the word of God says that there is no unforgivable sin but blasphemy so if you feel you have wronged God pray for forgiveness to be on the safe side but once again, he is leaving you. I know as Christians we tend to hold on to things that God Himself is trying to pull away from us. Maybe you rushed into things and it wasnt God's will and now He is being taking out of your life because God has better things in store for you. Maybe God needs to work on you as a person to mature you and develop you and you were letting your husband keep that from happening. James 1:2 says that we are to count it all joy when we are faces with trials because this is God's way of perfecting us and giving us endurance and faith so hold on my sister.. God's help is on the way! Stay strong and know that God loves you tooooooooooo much to place His darling beautiful baby girl with a man that will treat her less than perfect! Keep the faith .. hope this helps
This is truly heart-breaking. It makes me very angry that religion has turned a good and decent person like you into a person who has a very twisted idea of the world. You sound like the kind of person who reacts to everything and doesn't have the skills or knowledge to be out in the world on her own. You have my sympathy, but the religionists that made you like this can go to hell.