I don't need anyone to tell me what I already know is obvious! I posted a similar question last week %26amp; got some really negative feedback, like...';he's cheating';, ';get a divorce';, ';hire a detective';. This isn't the kind of advice i'm looking for! Thanks.Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
Since you are a christian, I will tell you what I did in a similar situation. I acknowledged that God is still in charge, I prayed that I would become WILLING to turn the situation over to Him and prayed that He would reveal to me what I needed to know. We can really get a ';story'; going on in our heads. Step back, take a deep breath, and give it to God. He will guide you in your next steps. And stop the ';monkey chatter'; that's going on inside your head. My prayers are with you sweetie!Spiritual/Christian advice for wife of cheating husband?
The only advice I can give is to go with what your gut instinct tells you is going on..if you feel that the marriage can be saved and the TWO of you can work it out, then use your beliefs and move forward from there, but only the two of you can make it work, if he has already made up his mind to care for someone else, there is not much else you can do to save it.
I have been in a similar situation recently. I believed my husband to be ';friends'; with a certain female, he too was texting and calling. I trusted him enough to really believe that. I wanted to make everything work and I did everything I could not to accuse him of anything at first, but then he started acting differently toward me, the next thing you know he was asking me for a divorce, as we had made vows that cheating and abuse would be the only reason for divorce.
I hope for the sanctity of marriage itself that your marriage can be saved, I has wished mine could have, but I cannot look the man I married in the eye, knowing he is not looking at me back.
Good luck.
well,I've never had this happen to me before.But,I am a christian,and I'm only 14.I give really good advice,so keep reading.Okay.I don't know if he is cheating or not,but you should trust your husband.And,you should have a talk with him.don't yell at him though.You should pray to God and ask him to help you with this.you should have done that,instead of asking people on here.because people can give you the wrong advice.Well,I hope I helped.And,I really hope everything works out.
God is in control. Now you must become steadfast and unmovable. You must be secure in your marriage. Don't allow the DEVIL to rampage through your marriage. If he is cheating God will give you a sign . (the old saying that everything done in the dark will come to the light)
Prayer is the key and you have to have faith in your husband until you can prove that something is going on. Sometimes they really are just friends and they use each other for support and encouragement. Sometimes we as women write to much into little things before we have all the facts, Have you talked to you hubby about the 3 of you meeting and you getting to know her,(you just might have something in common) If he is willing to give you the passwords and all the information that you ask for then it can't be to much to it other than a friendship. He is willing to stop talking to her for the sake of saving his marriage, then you need to look again or find you someone that you can confide in and talk to also.
I really hate that you are going through and that it has caused you so much heartache. But if you give it to GOD and leave it there things will work themselves out.
My prayers are with you and Good luck
Tell him his actions have caused you to loose all the trust that you once had in him. If he wants this marriage to work, then he needs to focus on his actions and not just his words. And you need to let him know your marriage has no room for another woman and if he cannot be acceptive of that and live by that, you WILL throw him out for good.
Wow. This must hurt. You already know that this is emotional and his attachment to her is distracting to your marriage. We all have to put limits on our attraction to others and focus our desires for our spouse. When we don't set limits then we can let simple infatuation blind us to something more.
First, continue to sit down and talk with your husband. Remind each other of your love for him and his love for you. Acknowledge that there will sometimes be trials and tests and encourage each other to be there for each other.
Discuss with your husband that this hurts you. If the relationship is genuinely a friendship, don't let the illusion of friendship between the opposite sex go without boundaries.
Begin with yourself by praying to God. Let God know that God is the center of your life. Give this to God. Continue to talk with your husband, and then see a pastoral counselor for some brief counseling. Sometimes, this is all you need.
Let's trust your husband, but at the same time don't let trust become blind permission. Something like this is a sign that there might be other things wrong. Learn what you have control over and make changes with what you have control over. Subconciously, we sometimes give permission for someone to go over the edge. Likewise, we can push our spouse away and allow things to happen.
I have a hunch that you already know what the problem is and you probably have an idea or two what needs to be done. Just don't get overwelmed. Be honest, be real, trust in God, and trust in the boundaries of marriage. Once you define the problem and decide what it is you want to accomplish then pick something and do it. Start working towards strengthening your marriage.
Try meditating on these Scriptures, then ask God for wisdom and do what you believe is best.
Eph. 4:2, 26-27, 29-32; 5:1-2
Gal. 6:1-2
Rom. 15:1
Matt. 18:21-22
Mk 11:22-26
Is your husband a Christian? Read together Eph 5:22-33.
You can also use a concordance or Bible guide to look for reference relating to anger, forgivenss, reconciliation, and other similar topics.
Trina B had awesome advice. Listen to her.
First of all out of respect for you he should stop talking to her, there is a thing called emotional infedility, which means nothing physical, just the DESIRE to want another woman, is a SIN, I'm sure it's hurting your self esteem to. Even if you tell him to leave her, how will you know he doesn't stop. you need to think about what you can do to be sure. Whether it's checking his cell phone bill, or reading his email, because if he promises you he will stop, then he doesn't, he has an ';addiction'; to her, often times guys get a kick out of talking to other woman, they ';have the cake and eat it to'; which is just unfair, no man is so great that he deserves that. no matter what they think of themselves. Tell him you'll walk away from this if he doesn't cater to how you feel about this situation..
I know as a Christian myself sometimes that advice just doesn't fit. Have you gone yet to talk to your minister/priest? It may help you to get a tow hold on the situation yourself. Then the two of you can possibly go together to talk to your minister/priest. It seems like you husband accepts that he's done something wrong and is willing to remedy the situation. If he and you are willing to work together, you can make this work.
I would say that you need to make sure you know everything that happened. I would want to know everything, that way you know exactly what it is you are dealing with. Then go from there with spiritual counsel. Being open and honest with each other is the first step.
Of course prayer. I will pray for you, as well. God will show the way.
It sounds like he is atleast emotionally cheating. Which is of course just as bad. He needs to break contact with her immediately and he needs to understand for awhile you will be monitering him let him know it's not going to be forever. Since you are a christian you have the benefit of God on your side. So here is the best advice anyone could give (some might have already) you need to draw close to God I mean close do the things in your life you HAVE to and let the rest go b/c right now the most important thing is continually filling yourself with his presence and letting him comfort you. And know this your marriage can actually benefit from this remeber it says in the bible '; all things do work together for the good of them who love the lord'; and it also states ';what satan intended for evil God will make good'; Now is the time to make a pact with your husband to lay everything out on the table and seek forgiveness for the wrongs you both have done and build a stronger, happier, healthier marriage. Can it be done YES!! I would HIGHLY recommend you order the cd sets Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication code ( both by Ememrson Eggrich on loveandrespect.com) or you can buy the books at a christian bookstore. I can tell you for a fact these books opened my eyes to the years of tearing down I DID unknowingly which led to the downward spiral of my marriage that almost ended in divorce! I want to give you more advice so if you want you can click on my avatar ( my profile) and email me your address if you want I have alot more info I can share. Good Luck and may the Lord bless you with His peace. EDIT: Remeber this too satan is the author of confusion so when you suddenly feel overwhelmed it's time to pray for God to take away the confusion and give you knowledge and wisdom take each thing step by step. You also should fast b/c fasting and praying is a VERY powerful way to reach the throne of God. Do not feel bad that you don't trust him that will take time and let him know as long as he works at it the day will come for you to trust him and God will let you know when it's time you will feel the nagging in your spirit don't ignore it!
You should both go talk to a Christian marriage counselor.
I don't know what kind of advice you are looking for but, I will see what I can do. First of all, I think you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how hurt you feel and that you are having a hard time getting over it. If you are so religious, I think now would be the right time to put things into God's hands through prayer. I have always found that it never hurts to get the marriage vows out and read them over again and perhaps resay them to each other. Getting some good counseling either together or separate is a tremdous help. You might ask you Minister if he could counsol you or if he could reccmend someone. Good luck.
Can you go to your clergy and discuss it with them? Have your husband go and talk about your vows and how important they are to you and each other. Have your clergy person remind the both of you (him) how God is there for you both and that you both made a promise to Him and each other and then couples counseling might be good. If he does not want to go, please go alone and maybe if you need to reach a decision alone, you will at least know that you tried your best and you will have the Spiritual support behind you.
Good luck
Girly, I'm no christian, thank goodness for that, but here's the advise I have for you. I was once interested in another woman many many years ago after being with my wife for two years. I was into this other woman because I thought I could get from her what i wasn't getting from my wife. Didn't really want to leave my wife so i started talking to her about how I felt about what it is I was lacking. She said something like, ';Duh dummy I can't read minds so if you're not happy with something tell me and we'll work on it. You dooffus you.'; Ever since then we always talked about each others changing needs as we grew as people. Tell him how you feel and get him to tell you how he feels. Be opened minded to what he'll tell you and I hope he'll be as well. Ending a relationship is the easy way out and relationships aren't easy things. They required communication, understanding and a will to change for the other but not change who we are fundamentally.
I think you're a smart enough person that you'll be able to work through this. All hope is not lost as long as there's a will to work things out.
Best of luck to you.
The very best advice I can give you is to pray.Pour your heart out to the Lord.Ask Him for wisdom.He will give.If your husband is willing to stop talking to her that will help too.In Isiah He says that he will hold your right hand.He has been holding mine for a while now.Maybe the both of you could talk to you Pastor?
Get into christian counceling. Or try Ed Young ministries on some wonderful marriage counselings. He is really an eye opener. I really understand and pray for your happiness. I had a husband that let his flesh and my anger destroy our 23 year marrage. It takes a lot of work to keep a partnership together but if both parties want it then no man or woman can come and break it apart. May he heal your heart, you are not alone so beleive!
Prayer is always good advice. Also, just plain open communication. If he knows how this makes you feel, then he should stop the friendship immediately. Sounds like you have a good relationship with your husband, but, maybe something is lacking for him, and this is why he accepted the attention of another woman. Communication - very important.
Best of Luck
Pray about it, and if you feel that you need to do something about this, do it. He says he's willing to stop talking to her, maybe ask him to change his cell phone number. Tell him that you just don't feel comfortable with him talking to another woman so much, and you feel he should be sharing that time with you. Just put it in God's hands, and if your husband is unwilling to cut ties with the girl (which he should be willing to do) go see your pastor for some marriage counseling. He/she will be glad to help you out, and straighten things out.
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