Christian advice about confessing premarital sex?

Pls answer only if you are a brother/sister in Christ. I became a Christian earlier this year. When my husband (call him John) %26amp; I were dating, we were sexually active. Summer before engagement (8yrs ago), I cheated on John. I've confessed and asked God to forgive me for having premarital sex with both John and the other guys. For 8 yrs I've been torn about not being truthful with John about being unfaithful, but I can't bear the thought of our marriage suffering or worse John leaving me. We've worked so hard on our marriage and things are going so well now. I feel 100% confident that I will NEVER cheat on him again and my confidence is not based on a feeling, but from having cut off people who made advances. If I confess, he's sure to struggle w/ issues of trust, forgiveness, etc and I truly wonder if he'll wish I never told him. Do I tell him? Will God help him to forgive me even though he's not a follower?Christian advice about confessing premarital sex?
I think you should schedule an appointment with your pastor ASAP. This is obviously something that is eating you up; and the longer you wait before making a decision, the worse off you will be.





Talk to your pastor and listen to him. He must have heard A LOT of things already; so be honest and ask for advice; ask him to give you Bible passages on forgiveness and repentance so you can feel better. (God is love, and although He dislikes sin, he loves the sinner.)





I'm not saying what you did is something to be proud of; but it takes guts to post what you did. I respect you for that and hope that you can find peace soon. Talk to your pastor.Christian advice about confessing premarital sex?
I know this doesn't sound right, but you need to tell him. By telling him, you won't feel guilty anymore, and if he really does love you, he will be able to forgive you (just don't expect him to forgive you right away) And he will still definitely have trouble trusting you again for a while, but that is just a price you have to pay. But if you can be sure that you will not cheat on him again, the trust will slowly come back. Just think about how open you would feel with him after telling. You will feel much better once you get it off your chest.
That was then and this is now. There are three questions to ask your self before you tell someone something. Is it kind, is it necessary and is it true. This fails two out of three. Even though you have asked God to forgive you you must also forgive yourself. Ask God to give you wisdom and strength to deal with your own guilty feelings and you will know what to do and feel better about everything. God bless and let it be so.
You confessed to God you don't need to confess to John. You had not taken your vows yet, it was an indiscretion that should never happen again and to destroy what you have now over this would far surpass the actual ';cheating'; which again, was before you took your vows. Forgive yourself and move on.
You do not have to tell him. Who you were before your were reborn is not realivant. God does not want you to go out of your way to hurt another person. You are exactly right about the seed of doubt this would place on your husband. You have repented already, leave it there. May your marriage always be based on 100% confidence in one another with the Lord as your guide. Amen!
seriously, you should NOT tell him. Your punishment is your guilt. And your forgiveness only needs to come from God. I know you are suffering for not being able to tell him. And that is as it should be, because your husband should not have to suffer for your sins. Just shut up and you suffer in silence. Let him be happy.
What are you TRYING to sabotage your relationship. It has no bearing on your current relationship....you are right with God so let it go.
If you've asked for forgiveness and know that you will never cheat again, I don't think it's neccessary to tell your husband UNLESS he asks. If he asks you if you've ever been unfaithful, it would be wrong to lie to him.





I would like to make a comment about another answer you got. Someone said that your sexual past will come up at OBGYN visits. Yes, they will ask if you've ever had any STDs, but they will NOT ask you how many sexual partners you've had. (Trust me, I've gone through 2 pregnancies and lots of check-ups. The question of number of sexual partners has never come up.) That's irrelevant to what they need to assess your health. They will test for STDs and such, but you can contract an STD from having sex with one person.
I have to apologize in advance as you asked for answers from only fellow christians (which I am not), but I am going to answer anyway.





My suggestion is this: Pray and ask God to guide you in what you should do and for the strength to handle what comes of your choice.





Also, I would like to let you know that, if you guys plan to have children in the future, (if you haven't talked to your husband about it before this) it will likely come up at that point. The reason is that, when you start going to prenatal appointments, they ask you for your FULL sexual and gynocological history. It is very important that you are completely truthful to your dr. because you never know what part of your history may effect the health of your baby and the care that you both will need.





The reason that that's a big deal is that, most likely, he'll want to be present for atleast some of the appointments. You can ask him to leave the room while you discuss it, but it will be a give away that you are hiding something. Not to mention, even though your record is confidential, most dr.s don't think twice about discussing your records or the care you are receiving in front of anyone that you bring into the room with you. Just something else to think about.





Peace be with you.
Personally you are worrying way too much. To tell your husband after eight years that you cheated on him may in fact ruin your marriage not because he is not a follower, as you say, but because he will feel as though he has been living a lie for the last eight years. If you are going to confess to him about the affair it is important that you tell of any other instance where you have been unfaitful or lied to him. My personal feeling is that there is more going on then what you are saying. If John is going to forgive you it will be based on your sincerity not if he is a follower or not.