I'm gay/bi and christian/religious. Need advice.?

I have problems with religion, as do many, but I still choose to be a part of it and have God, simply because I believe in a God.





However 1) by nature and by birth I was more attracted to men. If this disguists people, I don't want them to tell me that I'm going to burn in hell.





Why do people have a problem with gay/bi people in religion?





Does the bible say we cannot LOVE another man? I know it says bad things about ';sex'; and fornication, but what about feelings and treating another person REGARDLESS of gender with love?





Is this not sexism? The bible is promoting sexism, AND homophobia, how's that for a civil rights setback?





I also came across a flyer in my church that said, ';are you struggling with a same sex addiction?';





Can you believe this?





ADDICTION!?!?





Since when is having feelings for someone an addiction?





The mayor of Atlantic City, NJ killed himself recently for charges on sex with a minor, GIRL. Straight guy, addiction, its not just gays!I'm gay/bi and christian/religious. Need advice.?
Here's the thing... God calls us to hate sin, but love the sinner.





There are a lot of confused people and misconceptions that people are abusing and/or spreading to fit their (non-biblically based) beliefs. However, the truth is that while Jesus was on earth, he spent time with prostitutes, tax collectors (which were some of the biggest sinners of the time for all their lying, cheating, and stealing), lepers, and other people that “holy” people back then wouldn’t go anywhere near. He LOVED these people… but he hated their sin, as the sin was an abomination against God.





The two major mistakes that people don’t realize is that:


1) There is a HUGE difference between the sin and the sinner


2) “Love” has a LOT of meanings





To expand on #1, people that have children or pets really understand this easier… you can absolutely love the child or pet to death, but get easily frustrated over something bad that they do. God really sees us like a small child that he loves to no end. It’s just like when a parent might get really ticked off when their child or pet intentionally makes a mess that is difficult to clean up (whether “messing” on the carpet or taking a big bowl of Spaghetti and smearing on the wall and carpet). God loves us past the sin, but he still hates the sin.





To expand on #2, the way you’re using “love” is to suit your own desires. Men should love one another (as you quoted)… but out of brotherly love (caring for the other person, what happens to them, what they think, etc), not sexual love. A parent can love their child more than anything in life… but even the thought of sex with them is revolting. It’s completely different than sexual love or ';relationship love';.


The bible does specifically say that sex outside of marriage (fornication, or adultery if either party is married) is a sin… it goes outside of the intention that God has for righteousness. The bible also says that homosexuality (a man having sex with a man or a woman having sex with a woman) is a sin for the same reason.





It has nothing to do with sexism by today’s standards… back in biblical times, women were seen differently than men, but that’s a sociological debate that we won’t get into here. The bible doesn’t promote homophobia, just like it doesn’t promote fearing prostitutes… it just calls it what it is… a sin. It also has nothing to do with civil rights, as those weren’t made until almost 1900 years after the last book of the bible was written… you’re making it into a political issue that it isn’t. I’m not going to go into that because that’s not what your question is, but I thought it important to at least address these points that you made.





I think the flyer you saw in your church was leaning on a crutch of a common phrase. “Same sex addiction” is a phrase that some self-righteous person (that didn’t understand the point of the bible very well) came up with several years ago. I recall hearing it since the 80s (I wasn’t alive before that, so I can’t say anything about before that), and obviously it caught on… I believe he was going along the same lines as sex addiction in general (people that slept around). I wish I could apologize on behalf of the Christian church for so many vocal people being ignorant of the basics behind what they’re preaching so loudly about.





Yes, people of both sexes and all “sexual preferences” can make mistakes and do things that they wish they didn’t. Unfortunately, humans are weak and succumb to sin more often than they may like to… that sinful nature can really be a kick in the pants more often than we care to admit.I'm gay/bi and christian/religious. Need advice.?
If we seek to follow Jesus, we need to seek to think about our fellow man and woman in right and holy ways. Not to fulfill our selfish desires with them, but to seek their good and their oneness with God.





If you are doing that then you don't need to worry about your orientation, only not to sin against God or your fellow human being.
It really does not matter what I think. God has rules and no the Bible does not tell us to hate sinners but the sin. The only sin that can keep you out of heaven is not accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you do this then God will work in your life to help remove sin from it. That does not mean you will ever be sinless but it does mean you will try to repent from all sin because that is God's will for all His children. Yes the Bible says that God will turn them over to their sin and they will exchange the natural (man %26amp; Woman ) relation for the unnatural.
Well, none of us wrote the word. It does state in the Bible that being with the same sex ';gays'; is a bombnation in the eyes of God. If God intended for us to be with the same sex he wouldn't have made man and woman. I feel you have a great heart, but a great heart alone will not get us into heaven. We must Obey. There is so much bad in the world today because of the choices we, as humans make. You are on the right path, but you need to fix some things in your life, and this can be done by prayer. I wish you the best of luck and I know God will show you the way. Please don't feel I am judging you from everything I said. :))))
You just seem a bit confused on what love is. There are different types of love and when you discuss it you need to be clear about what type you are referring to. It seems the love you are specifically referring to here is a sexual love. Harmone based. Animal attraction. Purpose is procreation. There is also a friend/family type love that is non-sexual. Then there is agape love which is God like. You say you believe in God, but you don't seem to believe His Word. Can't believe one without the other. To answer your questions, all you need to do is look in the scriptures. If you truly believe in God, then listen to what He says.


As for being born with attraction to men.........that just basically says you're like every other human......born in sin. The sin may not be the same as someone else's sin, but sin just the same. This is referred to as the ';natural man'; in the Bible. Our sin nature comes with our humanity. You can thank Adam and Eve for that. Why else would man need a savior? We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. So our loving God made a way, at great cost to Him and His Son, to be saved from the penalty of our sins (eternal death) through Jesus Christ. It's the only way to salvation. (His Word, again).


Why are you offended by the word addiction........humans are addicted to all kinds of behavior........it's a behavior, any behavior, that you just can't lay aside without great inner struggle. Does it fit your situation? Maybe the problem is admitting you are sinful........first step to recovery is recognising there's a problem. I think all your questions can be answered in the Bible. I personally find it encouraging that your church wants to help the homosexuals. The bulletin is just a way to tell those who want help, a way to find it. Obviously you aren't there yet, but someone else might be. Now, they know they can go to the pastor there without being condemned or ostrasized. What's wrong with that?


You know, there's absolutely nothing wrong with treating another person with love........in fact Jesus said it's next to the first commandment of loving God. But, you have to understand this love has nothing to do with sex. Like I said before, you might want to do a study on the types of love and then search the scriptures about what God says about it.


It's really quite interesting and a great help in our everyday lives to know these things.


I pray you will continue to seek answers from God.....He will tell you the truth, whereas you may get all kinds of nonsense from Yahoo. God bless you.
First off, don't get sucked into the intellectual smokescreen of ';love the sinner, hate the sin';. It is fatuous, condescending and deeply offensive, and it's no wonder you're getting frustrated with such answers. It's a question-begging piece of abuse intended to excuse some Christians from having to explain why, exactly, it is morally wrong or ';sinful'; to have a partner of one gender rather than another. They don't like being put on the spot there, because ultimately they only have personal taste and extremely questionable arguments from authority.





';Love the sinner, hate the sin'; is simply the way some Christians voice their deeply held but irrational hatred while pretending it's something else.





The main game, of course, is to justify the authority of the texts, even when they are patently wrong, abusive or irrelevant. Don't be fooled.





There are, of course, moral questions raised by how we behave sexually. Sex can express our profoundest humanity, express our deepest desires and our darkest fears. It can also be abusive. However, whether it's abusive or not depends on how we treat people, not what particular genital equipment they have.





Also, watch out for religiously based ';therapies'; that claim to change sexual orientation. They are almost always from unqualified, poorly trained ';therapists'; using practices that are at best unproven and at worst frankly harmful pseudoscience. They usually reflect the prejudices and agendas of the organisations that sponsor them - in almost all cases evangelical churches - and are universally condemned by the mainstream professional bodies of properly qualified mental health professionals.





http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_ex…





Good luck.
Homosexuality is a sin. I think you know that. It is not only in the Old Testament, is is also in the New Testament...if you do this unnatural act, you are sinning. Love has nothing to do with it. It is wrong. God loves you and will forgive you but first you have to realize that what you are doing is a sin. If you cannot understand that, then you are wasting your time sitting in church. If you truly believed in God, you would obey him.
There are churches out there that are more open to homosexuals. It may take some seeking, but I hope you can find one in your area.





Many people are normally uncomfortable with certain aspects of sex as it is. Throw in something completely different to them and they really freak out.





I think the only way to deal with certain people's reactions is just to mentally put the problem onto them. It's their hang up - not yours - that is causing the grief. So let them be the only ones that suffer from it. Don't belittle them for it or even get angry with it. Just recognize that they're the ones with the issue and they're the ones that need to deal with it. The more dignified you hold yourself in those situations, the more you'll gain the respect of those you might not have gotten it from before.





Your faith and relationship with God is between you and God. It is not between you and everyone else's opinion of you. So you can still have your faith and remain gay/bi as well.





Matt
Everyone sins, you just happen to have a sin that many focus on alot:(


Adultery is one of the 10 Commandments, and even that is not focused on as much as homosexuality. I am not sure why that particular sin is such a huge focus in our society.


Reading the New Testament I realize I am a sinner for not ';covering my head'; at church! No one ever talks about that- or that women are not to dress up to show off at church- I think alot of people pick and choose what to condemn about nowadays, its sad.


I am a Christian, and I do not judge you- at least you are being honest in your choices.
Blow off the religion as a total waste of time and energy. There is no reason to believe in the existence of any sort of god.
Not all religions have a problem with homosexuality.





Maybe the problem you are having is that you do not want to deny who you ARE sexually, but have never explored if the Christian religion is the right one for you.





I would at least consider LOOKING at other churches or even other religions if you are not comfortable with the expressed homophobia of the church you are attending.
I firmly believe that regardless of sexual orientation,lust is lust. I went through a tremendous bisexual controversy in my life,and it caused guilt and a large conflict in my family.


- All because of the confusion with Biblical truth and spiritual cleanliness and mere personal conviction. -


To say that two men having sex with one another inside of marriage is personal conviction.


You need to find comfort in your own personal convictions and translations of the Bible. When others judge you,they are merely judging themselves,so do not let their own trials hurt you,for you have your own.
Oh jeez people, he's gay. There are gays out there, and there will soon be many more. Being gay is not immoral.





You try to tell me what is wrong with being gay without saying anything about any religion bullsh*t? You can't. Religion is there for a guideline, to keep people in order. Use it to help you, not corrupt you.





There is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality, and as far as I know, the Bible doesn't directly say that it is. Morality means what is right, not what is written in some book.





It's sad that even churches refer to it as an ';addiction';. It is a way of life that is given to some people at birth, or religiously put, chosen by God =not a sin.





It's also funny (in a not-so-funny way) how people are telling you that you are just confused about your sexual orientation. Confused? How could you be confused? I realize that some gays get confused over whether or not they are really gay since society tells us that being gay is wrong. But if you already know you are gay, there can be no confusion.





I think you should still hang onto your Christianity as it does a lot of good for people, but be weary of the corrupt Christians out there who were misinformed about the purpose of the Bible. You are certainly not going to hell for being gay.





Gay means happy! So be happy!





-Rich :)
we all have trails to overcome, I have friends who are gay, I do not approve, but its there choice and yes the Bible is against gay relationships, please dont get mad at the people who are stating it, I have checked, it is there.
You can love another man.....you just can't physically love him. get it?





I have a friend, and I love him to death, I can go to him about anything and vice versa...but I'm not attracted to him or anything, it's like ';brotherly'; love(as they would say in phili)





I love gay people, blacks, Asians, pagans, atheists, penguins, and yes...even spiders(I hate snakes though...shhhh don't tell them).





Everything is deserving of my love, and hopefully I'm deserving of everyone love.





Now, as far as it being a sin....did you know Jesus never spoke about homosexuality(except ';marriage is between a man and a woman';)? True...He didn't. If you do not lust, fornicate, or sodomize....there is nothing different between a gay person and a straight person who is not married.





Everything is an addiction. Yahoo!answers, Coca-Cola, religion, yard sales, etc. If it becomes the norm in someones life they're going to be addicted...





And yeah....I love how you're saying it promoting prejudice...when it's not ';my love comes for all'; who said that? Jesus did....
I am a christian and although i believe that being gay/bi is wrong i dont think that you are going to hell if u are saved no matter what you do. it is written in the bible and i forgot the chapter ull have to google it or something ';man is not to lay with a man as with a women as that is an abomination....'; i believe that being biased toward you just cause of your sexuality is wrong but i dont think being gay/bi is right
As an Atheist I would not try to recommend any specific religion.





What I can say is, if you truly believe in a God and you feel the current religion you're practicing is not in your best interest, it may be time for you to rethink your beliefs.





There are other religions besides Christianity in this world (there are Christian denominations that accept same-sex relationships) and may be that it is time for you to find a religion that is more suited to your beliefs and practices.
Would you prayerfully read this?





9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,





10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.





11And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
You have to remember that most Christians actually know very little about their own religion and therefore don't know what the hell they're talking about. Consider this:





The story of Sodom and Gomorrah in chapter 19 of Genesis is often offered as an example by many Christians that homosexuality is bad/evil. They note that God's angels destroyed these cities (true) and that they did this in order to eradicate the homosexuals who were dwelling there (false). I have never met one Christian who has been aware that the story of S%26amp;G never once states that the destruction of the cities was due to the God's desire to eradicate homosexuals who were living there. Over the years it was INTERPRETED to be a about gays but in actuality it is not. If you read the story yourself, you will see that there is no mention about homosexuality as the reason the cities were destroyed. The reason it was interpreted as a story about gays is because of a few sentences in the story which are vague and therefore open to interpretation by anyone. These sentences have to do with part of the story where the citizens of Sodom demanded to ';know'; the angels (who came to visit Lot and his family) and it was later BELIEVED that this ';knowing'; was really a euphamism for sex. According to this view, the men of Sodom were homosexuals and God punished them for their sexual orientation. This interpretation (and that's what it is - an interpretation) ';stuck'; and now most Christians just believe it to be true.





Long story short, don't refer to Christians for any answers to religious questions, especially ones that involve sexual orientation because they usually don't know jack about their own religion.
I think you can be in a loving relationship with a person of the same sex, an upstanding citizen or a good family man, if that is what you want. I support equal treatment under the law.





But I'm not religious, so I can't help you with what everyone else believes. The thing is, the point after Leviticus 18:22 calls homosexuality an ';abomination,'; it says that shellfish is an ';abomination.'; But you don't see Christians boycotting shellfish. They cherry pick the mosaic laws, based on personal dislike of homosexual unions.





Edit: Looks like you have a lot of angry people on this forum. Don't worry about them. We're in a secular democracy. I'm an atheist so I'm often threatened with hellfire, but they can't do anything to ban us. There is still discrimination against gays in the US, but policies are changing slowly, and they've already updated in Europe and Canada. Here's a drink: To freedom to enjoy life, without their prejudice.
Hi Luke,


I wish I could tell you whatever it is you need to hear that will make you better and happier as a person and as a christian.


That is a very difficult challenge in the space of a couple of paragraphs. Your questions are more complex than that. This is not a major question of yours, but it is one of the simpler ones to address. I think you are mistaking the intent of the sex-addiction flyer. That is not you. That flyer was not created with your situation in mind. That is for people whose lives are preoccupied with sex to the point that their lives are falling apart because of it due to the energy and time devoted to thinking about sex and actually doing it. Your problem is about putting some order to all these thoughts in your head. How can you proceed with your life in a sane manner when you have two major portions of it in upheaval. I can't answer your question in one fell swoop. I don't know your age, but I'm assuming you're a teenager or young adult. I know it seems an impossible task, but my advice is for you to first and foremost focus on your school studies and those things which will lead to you having a stable adult career. This is serious business. Extremely serious, getting an education and a vocation. These upheavals technically are more important, but I sincerely believe you should try to tune those out and focus on your studies. I will write more later. Or you can e-mail me if you want.
well then disregard the christians answers, cause they most likely will say your going to hell


honestly, myself im not to wild about gay people


but the christians say their god loves everyone and everything, so why shouldnt you get into heaven?
You're debating an issue which has no logic and I will tell you ';why.'; To BE a christian, or ONE of this religion, you have to be accepting of it's rules. One ';of'; those rules is not ';accepting'; a gay lifestyle, PERIOD. You are NOT going to change the ways of this religion for this religion has 2000 years already in existance and the only sect that WOULD BE accepting of your values is the Jesus who taught them to those who believe in universalism. I am one of them. You CAN be a disciple of Jesus, but you can not be part of a religion that for one is NOT of his DOCTRINES. These sects of Christianity are all set up on the book that was put together and canonized by the Roman Catholic and as SUCH, it's EMPIRE. This is not as Jesus taught it but as the church Constantine had put together REVISED his words. The Father in heaven accepts EVERYONE and it is CHRISTIANITY that makes the rules on earth ';whom'; the Father will not allow. Who are you going to believe? Jesus or ignorant men of RELIGION.............
My interpretation is this; you can choose God or you can choose the world (sin). One or the other. NOT both.