Christian/Ethical Marital Advice (for my mom)? Please help..?

My mom is a strict Christian. She's been married to my father, who was not raised in a Christian/Religious family for over 20 years. He was a horrible, emotionally neglectful and abusive father. He treats my mother the same, but is kinder to her, as over the years she has threatened to leave him.





Now that us kids have grown, my mother is facing a lifetime with my dad. She claims that while he's still not wonderful (and in my opinion, willing), she vowed to stay with him when they got married. She feels that he has improved, even though the imrpovement is miniscule. To her, this means she is obligated under God to stay with him, as it shows he is trying.,





I believe he alters his behavior temporarily to appease her, and then goes back to his old ways.





Does anyone have any advice? He will not go to speak with anyone or do any therapy. He will not consult counselors or pastors at church. Thanks!Christian/Ethical Marital Advice (for my mom)? Please help..?
You do marry ';for better or worse'; but when there is a case of adultery or abuse it is allowed by the church to divorce. If he truly is abusive to her, they need to seek counseling or divorce. No one deserves to be treated poorly like that.Christian/Ethical Marital Advice (for my mom)? Please help..?
Your mother is certainly a woman of convictions. I admire her for that. This in no way excuses your father for his mistreatment of her, or of you when you were growing up. You're right, he probably does alter his behavior temporarily to appease the situation. But the truth is that your mother has made her choice. As her family and as adult friends you can support her in her choice, love her and embrace her, and be open to listening to her when she needs. It is not your place to change the relationship that they have both chosen.





It is important at this point that as an adult you take good care of yourself. This may mean you need some counseling to deal with your experience and feelings. You also want to be aware with your relationships that you don't also fall into something with someone you can't love and appreciate for the long haul. There is an old saying...what I am today is my parent's responsibility, what I am tomorrow is mine. However, I change this a bit to this....WHAT I WAS YESTERDAY IS MY PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY, WHAT I AM NOW IS MINE.





God bless.
To Lucy - 1Corinthians 7:12 specifically says you can marry people of other faiths.





In any case, you mother shouldn't live the rest of her life in misery. Both of them should go to marital counseling. If he is really trying, then he won't refuse.
Maybe I'm being a bit capricious but as strict Christians aren't you required to marry like-minded? To stay along a Christian train of thought, perhaps this is punishment to your mom for marrying a heathen. Of course, she could send it all to hell, get a divorce and just be happy. God will love her just the same. Seems like she built her own prison.
I understand the generation your mom came from, my grandma was in a very similiar situation and stayed with an awful man because she made a 'promise'. But what about what he promised her? God made her into an amazing person with strengths and talents to use, not to spend her life emotinally abused by an awful man. If he won't go, she needs to do it for herself. Start with counseling at her church with a pastor, then do something she's kept herself from doing - a class, or volunteer, etc. She can't change him, but she can change herself. As she starts those changes, the rest will work itself out, it's a big decision. Prayer, talking with (wise) Christian counselors and pastors, and working on that which she CAN change will help her. Changing HIM is not an option.





A very wonderful pastor told me, 'God loves and wants the best for all people. He did not come to this world to judge. Therefore, God loves all people - single, married, divorced. God loves divorced people just as much as he ever loved you when you were married. Why would that have ever changed?'





Good luck to you and your Mom.
I am a Christian, your mom took vows before God, her relationship with your dad is to Glorify God, regardless if he is grouchy, etc. [unless he is an unrepentent continual adulterer] otherwise her commitment to her marraige does not depend on his personality. This is ultimately between her and God, %26amp; will give an acct. for the kind of wife she was told to be [in the bible]. Life is about God.