Christian advice needed- I am unmarried and recently found out I am pregnant. I dont want to rush into marriag?

Since we have found out he has actually gotten mad and lost his temper twice. Both times he told me not to expect anyhelp from him. I know he doesn't mean it, he is excited about the baby. I have huge concerns about his capability of being able to keep things in perspective, and if I can trust him to be there for me. I want to move back home to another state, I don't want to shut hi


out and would never take away his rights to be a father; however I feel it is important to be in a stable place where I have a support system, I feel this would be closer to my family back home. If I have the baby in California and we don't work out then I am stuck and the courts will require me to stay here. I can't afford to be here by myself and him not make the personality changes that are needed, aside from the fact I want the baby to have close relationships with my family. His are in another country.Christian advice needed- I am unmarried and recently found out I am pregnant. I dont want to rush into marriag?
If he is losing his temper, that should be a warning sign to you. Please find support with your own family, especially if his are in another country. If you are unsure of caring for this baby by yourself (or even with your family's support), consider adoption.Christian advice needed- I am unmarried and recently found out I am pregnant. I dont want to rush into marriag?
Most people think that when a relationship is rocky, such as yours, that marriage or bringing a baby into it, will make it better. In fact, it only makes it worse. You will find yourselves fighting more and more.


I think you should wait on marriage, and even on the relationship you have right now because it doesnt sound that great. You should move on for the sake of yourself and your child.
It sounds like you want to believe the best in him but he may not feel the same way. You're not alienating him by leaving. You're ensuring you give your baby the best possible start by having loving family around to care for him/her. If the father is acting violent, he is not a safe person to be around an infant until he learns to control his temper. He can always come visit or, if he chooses, move to be near you and the baby. If he doesn't want to, that is his loss. Rushing in to marriage, even for the sake of a child, is never a good idea. It can cause resentment which will only hurt everyone, children included, in the long run. Marriage is a commitment to be made when everyone is ready, not when circumstance dictates it ';should'; be done. Good luck with the baby. I hope everything works out for all of you.
There is no reason to rush into marriage. In fact I strongly strongly advise against it if you are having doubts. You are already pregnant, and getting married is not going to have an effect on that. I know several very respectable Christian women who have become pregnant and decided not to marry simply because they are pregnant. Just because you have been blessed with a baby before you planned, doesn't mean you should marry for any reason other than true love.





If you feel that you need more support than your significant other is providing you with you should definitely move back home. No matter what happens your family is always your family. They will always love and support you. I am sure your family would be thrilled to have you home too! My family loves being close by to share in all of the joys of my pregnancy with me. I would talk to your partner and tell him that you want to move home, that you feel it is important to be near family through the pregnancy and after birth. (This shouldn't be offensive to him, especially if his family is in another country. It wont be like you are saying is family isn't enough, etc.) Tell him that you would love for him to come be with you so that you, him and your baby can be a family together, but that you understand if he doesn't want to leave his life in California. If he decides that he doesn't want to move let him know you wont exclude him from the baby's life. I think being open with him is very important.





Good luck, and I will be praying for courage and wisdom for you.





Congratulations on the blessing!
Having a baby with someone you are not commited to is always a tough spot.


A freind of mine is ready to have her baby next month and is not even sure of who the father is :(


I'm sorry you are having a rough time.


Try to keep in mind that losing your temper is not the worst thing in the world, I know it seems awful, especially for someone with child, but men, especially one's who arent expecting to be fathers, get very scared and emotional. .


They get hormonal too, sometimes they say and do things they dont intend to, or even realize they are doing.


I am 16 weeks pregnant and I find that me and my husband fight alot more than we would like to.


Sometimes I wonder how he can say the things to me he says when I am carrying his child. . . But you have to remember, they are just as scared about this as you, if not more!


Men have a TON of responsibility when it come to raising a baby and taking care of the mother and often times, especially in young unmarried couples, the man will become mean, or just plain run away.


I agree with you that it is important to have a good support system, and when you are unsure of your relationship with your partner, your family is a great place to start :)


My advice to you is to talk to him and find out his real feelings, tell him about your uncertaintees and concerns, maybe if he knew you wanted to be close to your family he might even consider comming with you :)


In the end though, babies are a blessing.


And despite how things turn out with him, there will me the miracle of life to show for it :)


Good luck!
Well I think everything you just said sound make complete sence to you. Like you stated, hes lost his temper 2 times already, whats going to prevent him from loosing it again? Also, your absolutely correct when you say you and that baby need a strong and stable place to live and if your family is where that will be, pack up and go home before the baby arrives! I know its never easy leaving someone your expecting a child with but if he is unstable and your home is unstable, please dont make that childs life unstable as well. If your not sure you can do it, theres always a semi- open adoption and youll know where your child is and where he or she is at most of the time! Good Luck!
if you think that you will need the support then go for it. I am here with a 3 week old baby and far from my family (2 hours away) and friends 1-1 1/2 hrs away and it is hard. Every where you have to go, you have to take the baby with you. It is hard because sometimes you just want a little bit of time to rest and if you are on your own, you will be very exhausted. If he is losing his temper, don't make excuses. A lot of men change when face by stressful events. You don't know if he will be with you from now on. I have been on my own since i was 5 months pregnant and the child's father promised that he was going to be there and help out so men lie so if he is starting to show you another side of him then think of yourself and your unborn baby. Best of luck!